


Guilt Trip

by unluckitty



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Boarding School AU, Coming of Age, Donghyuck gets better i swear, Fake Dating, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin, Minor Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le, yes the title is a pun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:08:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23642104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unluckitty/pseuds/unluckitty
Summary: It's easy to generalise everyone's personality when you start at a new school. So who could blame Renjun when he does exactly that? Except, maybe he'll have to learnt he hard way that it's not that simple, especially when you get involved with a certain school prince Lee Jeno.Rumours, unresolved business, new friends and maybe a spot of fake dating ensues.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76
Collections: noren fic fest round 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: renjun is a commoner who won a full scholarship on one of the best, and the most expensive, boarding schools in korea from a lottery. he finds it difficult to adjust to his new environment, especially to the fact that he doesn't have an adult to rely on and that he was surrounded by nothing but rich kids who amuse themselves with renjun's misery. but he found himself getting tangled with this boy, certified one of the school celebrities, who not-so coincidentally catches him from falling--literally.
> 
> *Despite editing, there's deffo some slight grammar mistakes here and there, please don't mind them hhh

One thought repeated over in Renjun’s mind: “I shouldn’t be here.”

“Welcome!” A student greeted him and the other scholarship students, as he gazed up at the modest chandelier of the main reception area. “As you know…” No, I don’t, Renjun rolled his eyes. He shuffled back and forth on the carpet, staring at the intricate designs dyed on. 

“...now, I’ll take you around the school!” The student grinned a cheshire cat smile. The other students chattered away with each other as they exited the admin building, in between the driveway and the main school. They were met with gravel paths lining up the four main buildings, enclosing a sports field in the middle. Cherry blossom trees stood proudly at the corners of the field, although not bloomed quite yet. To the left, a clock tower made of stone, anticipating the next hour. 

Just then, another group of students walked past airily, in non-uniform since the term technically hadn’t started yet. They shot judging looks at them, but soon went back to their phones. The newest models, Renjun observed. All of them were wearing branded clothing too. But that was to be expected. 

“Right then!” The student said brightly, as they approached the stairwell of the west building. Marble and mahogany glimmered on the steps. Again, another chandelier was hung on the ceiling, which seemed to extend to the sky- if it fell, it would certainly kill anyone beneath it, thought Renjun. They climbed up the stairs, and the student took them around to the classrooms, a few of where their teachers greeted them as well. More fake smiles. The ones on the upper floors were decked in lab coats, as if they were already teaching. 

“Dorms in the main buildings are always not facing the field, got it? There’s also a side entrance downstairs.” They passed through a common room, connecting the two halves of the building and emerging into a hotel-esque corridor, with the same carpet as in the admin building. Rows of doors extended both ways from where they stood. 

“You all will get your dorm rooms and roommates later! So for now…” Renjun completely phased the student out for the rest of the tour- it wasn’t as if he was going to remember how to get to any of these places tomorrow.

Instead, he turned his focus onto the various students wandering around school, most all engrossed on their phones. All wearing branded clothing. All carrying an aura of superiority without saying a word. 

And Renjun _detested_ that already. 

He shouldn’t be here. 

They next walked past the pool on the way to the north building, where the humanities classrooms were, as well as more dorms. Renjun couldn’t help but compare everything to his old school, however more expensive this was and however much he already knew he wouldn’t fit in: they had gone to the community swimming centre, had all classes in one building, and floors were tiles. The north building was pretty much identical to the west one, except with more normal looking classrooms, some with maps and globes on the shelves. It too, looked onto the sports field, where stray students were wandering across. They then exited through the right of the building, where the student did a brief tour of the dining hall, horse stables, arenas and paddocks.

“Oh yes. As if I’m interested,” Renjun sighed. To his annoyance, it looked just like it did in the newspapers; pristine. 

There were a couple students roaming around the stables, and one even doing a small jumping course in one of the arenas. The student explained that some students kept horses here on campus, or loaned one. 

This damn scholarship; making him feel so inferior. Did fate hate him or something?

At last after 45 or so minutes, the tour was over, and they were all shown to their rooms.

“North, fourth floor, room ten,” Renjun silently read off the sheet. Some of the other new students were lucky enough to get each other as roommates, but there was no one else listed under the same room as him. He prayed that he would just be alone in the room. Just please, some peace and a place to wallow in my own form of obnoxiousness, Renjun hoped. 

But of course, hoping is never enough. 

Another student was sitting against his headboard, eating whilst reading a book. He glanced up at Renjun, studied him with a cocked head, and focused back on the book. 

“Hello?” Renjun said, not daring to step any farther until this stranger did something other than judge him. Subtlety really wasn’t popular these days, huh?

“Hello yourself,” the student replied. 

“Uh...could I come in?” Oh god, this was awkward. And that was the last thing Renjun wanted, aware that he was somewhat asking for it. 

“I mean eventually you’re gonna have to. Your choice.” He still hadn’t bothered looking a second time as Renjun dragged his luggage into the room, setting it beside the empty bed. Just as he was unzipping it on the floor, out of book-boy’s sight, he said, 

“What’s your name then? Seeing as I’m your roommate, it would be good to know.”

“Lee Donghyuck.” Ten seconds passed (Renjun counted) and he didn’t say anything else.

“Uh, where’s the bathroom?”

“Through the door you didn’t come in through. You’re on a scholarship here right?”

“Yeah…”

“You haven’t proven you got it so far. I’m waiting to be out-smarted-”

“Renjun. Huang Renjun,” he said, thinking it was probably now or he would never get to introduce himself.

“...I’m waiting, Huang Renjun.”

"Be prepared then," he mumbled half-heartedly. 

"Where are you going?" Renjun asked, as he got out and saw Donghyuck standing by the door with a small backpack and phone in hand. 

"Library."

"There's a library?" Donghyuck shook his head and started to head out, not saying another word. The door clicked behind him and immediately Renjun groaned,

“Ugh!” 

Then he shuffled out the bathroom to unpack everything else, muttering swear words at nothing but everything. Clothes and uniform in the closet; he and Donghyuck had one each, large enough to probably fit all his own clothes at home. And then each of them had a desk and chest of drawers by their beds. Donghyuck’s had a small bulletin board above it, laced with polaroids with presumably friends (some pictures ripped, too). There was a stack of textbooks lying neatly on the side, and he left a bookmark in the novel on his bed. As well as a bin outside the bathroom, there was also a laundry basket, currently containing a yellow hoodie and socks. Renjun noted it was again, a branded hoodie. In comparison, he pulled out one of his three hoodies from the thrift store, hanging them up in the cupboard. 

“Fucking hell. I’m not broke, but I’m _broke_.” Resolving he would unpack the rest after his first dinner, he sat at his new desk to connect his phone and laptop to the wifi. The spinning chair gave him the most fun he’d had since arriving. 

Not very long after, Donghyuck entered the room again with someone else. Both laughing, both grinning at their phones, both ignoring Renjun. 

“Do you think professor Hwang will give us that really hard test like he always does?”

“I hope not. But at the same time, I hope.”

“You just want to have something to brag about again.”

“Again? When have I ever bragged?” Donghyuck retorted, sitting at his desk with the friend, on the bed. 

“Ever since Lee Jeno beat you in that one exam you’ve been obsessed.”

“Shut! And, it was a fluke, I’m sure. He always gets second or third best, at most.” And they chattered on in the back of Renjun’s mind. He only occasionally eavesdropped then and again because...it wasn’t like they were going to notice anyway. Did he really want to get noticed though?

“You got a roommate this year, huh.”

“Yeah. A downgrade from having this room to myself, I know.”

“What’s his name?”

“I’m Renjun,” he interrupted, steely eyes making direct eye contact with the friend. 

“Oh. Okay. Nice to meet you, I guess.” There was a couple seconds of silence, before Donghyuck continued, 

“ _Anyway_ , this year…” And so Renjun went back to his laptop. God damn, why was the school resources website so hard to navigate? You’d think if they had top computer science students they’d do something about it, Renjun thought slyly to himself. But of course, these were just the small things that Renjun knew were petty, just like everything else he was thinking. Yet he held onto them stubbornly. 

Just then, the clock chimed 6 o’clock and Donghyuck and his friend instinctively stood up, still talking, and left. Confused, Renjun also got up and called down the corridor,

“Where are you going?” Donghyuck looked around first, wondering where the sound came from, and then turned around. 

“Dinner. In the dining hall.”

“O-oh...can I come with you guys?” Donghyuck shrugged and exchanged a snicker with his friend. 

“If you really want to.”

“You might want to change though,” the friend said, eyeing Renjun up and down, in ripped jeans and plain white shirt. He raised an eyebrow. 

“Why’s that?”

“Just...a lil’ embarrassing, don’t you think? First impressions and all that jazz.” Renjun was taken aback at that, but didn’t express it. _They_ were one to talk about first impressions. 

“It’s alright. This is comfortable enough.” They both shrugged again and walked on, leaving Renjun to jog to catch up to them. The corridor was only wide enough for two at a time, and he was forced to hang behind. At least he had his phone as a distr- fuck.

“Uh...guys?” They turned around. It sent almost a chill down Renjun’s spine, as if they were wolves calmly eyeing their prey. “I may have left my phone in the dorm.”

“Too bad. Then you’re gonna have to go to the dining hall yourself.”

“I’ll find it eventually,” Renjun said, backing away as he spoke. He turned and jogged back, still feeling gazes clawing at his back. 

  
  


It was a good five minutes before Renjun emerged from the dorm, after washing his face out of habit. By then, bigger groups of students were heading to the dining hall, behind and left of North. He padded down the endless hallway, through the exact way he’d come, in case he got lost. Touching the shining banisters felt almost illegal to him. An evening drizzle greeted him as he got out of the building, misting his hair. Everyone else had already gone ahead, and the crunching of the gravel grated his ears. He even kicked a couple stones on purpose and they flew out onto the lawn for an unsuspecting person to lie on and get cut. The drizzle grew to a light rain, just as Renjun got into the comforts of the dining hall. 

It was only half full at this time, as most students would be arriving tomorrow. Renjun quickly got a meal from a stall, and sat down at an empty table, by a window facing the pool. Some students were chilling by the poolside, or playing games, as their shouts even made it through the glass. His back was faced to the rest of the hall; just as Renjun wanted. Rain droplets raced each other down the window, and as much as the food was as good as any restaurants and he was hungry, it tasted miserable to him. He saw a reflection of Donghyuck now with more friends, in the glass. They were laughing, not at him, but it felt like it. Or maybe they were- Renjun wouldn’t know. 

Cabin-esque decorations and ovens baking bread were _supposed_ to make him feel at home; at ease. 

He shouldn’t be here. 

After his first shower on campus, Renjun unpacked the final bits and pieces, and flopped onto his bed. Donghyuck hadn’t come back yet, so he was reluctant to sleep, in case him coming back would wake him up. And judging by what he knew so far, that would probably be the case. It was early evening now, and although the sun was already set, a faint glow came from the window. The room was truly dark once he’d closed the curtains. Just as he’d done that and gotten back into bed to check texts, Donghyuck arrived back. 

“Why’re they closed?” he said with disdain.

“I closed them.”

“There’s still light outside? And how do you expect me to wake up tomorrow with no light?” he flung them back open. Renjun rolled his eyes not-so subtly. 

“Use an alarm clock.”

“What time are you gonna get up?”

“Like...seven?”

“See! I’d be woken up. I wake up at around half past seven.”

“You said you wake up with sunrise, right?” Donghyuck was now going to the bathroom to shower and change. 

“Yes.”

“If you’re so smart, how come you don’t know that sunrise is at seven?” Renjun said with equal disdain. He retreated further into the blankets. 

“A bit after seven, actually. You really thought you did something there, huh,” Donghyuck giggled, taking his things to the bathroom. “Anyways, I was here first so…” and the door closed. Just out of his own spite, Renjun went to close the curtains, turned off the room light and tucked himself in for bed. Needless to say, he was indeed woken up by Donghyuck’s complaints of opening the bathroom to a black void, the opening of curtains again, and then him leaving the room, lights on. 

“See if I’ll care,” Renjun muttered under the blanket, and made no move to turn the lights off. 

Little by little, more students trickled in the next day. The grounds started to look more full by the minute, and Renjun took it upon himself to take the extra day to explore the grounds- like he said, it wasn’t as if he retained anything from the tour the day before. 

As far as he could tell, the main classroom/dorm buildings were the same interior, just with different subjects: science and maths in West, humanities in North, technology in East and the arts in South. People were sitting to talk on the open air stage in the theatre, or chatting in the cafe at the clock tower. Every so often, he got lost in the buildings, wandering in and out of common rooms, stopping then walking once he thought he had a clear idea of what to find next (not that he’d ever). The other new students from the day before were nowhere to be seen. Either that, or Renjun just didn’t recognise them as they fit so seamlessly into the school.

Unlike him. 

As it turned out, there was indeed a library. Two stories (“nah there’s more than two stories here”, Renjun joked to himself) of books galore with added sofas. He made a mental note to get lost here one day. 

He then visited the horse stables, just out of curiosity. He leant against a fence, where a horse was drinking from a water trough, rubbing her forehead. 

“Do you think I’ll be okay?” he asked her. She said nothing. A person tacking up nearby laughed at him, then quickly turned away. 

“Do you?” She continued drinking. What a way to spend his afternoon: talking to a horse because there was no one else to talk with. 

“Ahem,” someone behind him coughed, and Renjun let him pass in. He put a halter around her, and led her out. Renjun sighed, and moved on. 

Donghyuck returned to their room to Renjun nearly falling asleep at his desk, a revision video playing in the background. 

“Turn that off soon. I gotta get that beauty sleep before classes tomorrow,” he laughed. 

“Oh _shit_ ,” Renjun sat up and rushed to the toilet with his towel and clothes. 

“Don’t tell me you forgot. That would really be the saddest of the sad,” Donghyuck hummed to himself. Renjun didn’t bother replying, and the bathroom door slammed shut. Donghyuck packed up the last books for the next day. “Okay then. Not my problem,” he sang. 

“Ugh…” Renjun groaned as soon as he woke up. Somehow, Donghyuck was already up and washing his face. How he hadn’t heard him was a miracle. 

“You up buttercup?”

“Please don’t call me that.” He swung himself out of bed and yawned. The sun was too bright today. Donghyuck brushed past him to get his uniform, and was out before Renjun had even finished combing his hair. 

“Good luck! You’re gonna need it!” Donghyuck called behind his back. The door closed. 

“Fuck you too, I guess,” Renjun muttered, still brushing his teeth. As much as he hated to admit it, he was probably right- if he was going to survive this first day, he would need all the luck he could get. And at this rate of declining mental stability, he would need double of it. 

“Physics...literature…” Renjun looked over his timetable over a lonely breakfast. “Already off to an amazing start, I see.” A group of friends sat in the booth next to him, excitedly running off their timetables too. 

“Fuck, this bread is great but also disgusting…” he stopped after Wednesday’s schedule. He sighed and laid his head on the table, not caring about the background laughter. And at last, the clock tower signalled for them to head to the first lessons of the year. His bread was still half eaten. 

The staircases certainly looked different now with students and teachers bustling up and down, going their separate ways. The chandelier glittered above, ever-reminding Renjun that _he shouldn’t be here_. Clutching onto his physics books, he clung onto the banister now, but in the sea of people and someone passing with untied shoe laces...

“Oh!” Came a voice from his right, reaching out just in time to catch him by the arm. Unfortunately, the books weren’t as lucky. Renjun steadied himself again, looking from the books to the voice. 

“You guys go ahead. Yes, I’m sure. You okay there?” A handsome face cocked his head at Renjun before going to help pick up the books. “They polished the stairs again, I see.” Renjun was speechless at this point. 

“Physics?” The boy asked, handing him the final book. 

“Uh. Yeah.” It’s an act, Renjun, it’s an act! All of it! 

“Why are you doing physics in the North building?” 

“Because it’s a great su- wait, North?”

“Yes?” the boy put on a comically confused expression and stifled a laugh. At least he had some courtesy. “Physics is in West. And this is not that.”

“I think I’m aware of what building I walked into,” Renjun squinted up at him. The boy still looked confused and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Well...up to you then. Just trying to help.” And he walked away. Renjun’s face was growing redder by the second. 

“North building...some prank this is. Room 203…this floor.”

Already from the window at the door, a large world map stared back at Renjun in an empty classroom. Room 203: a geography classroom. Lesson one complete.

“ _Oh.”_

“Do you need help?” A passing teacher asked. 

“Do you know where physics is?”

“You’re in the wrong building! This is North. Physics is in West.” Renjun couldn’t believe it. He refused to. 

“Okay, thank you sir!” 

“No problem! But you might want to head there fast, or you’ll be late.”

“I will!” Renjun took off down the stairs and jogged across the field to West. And all the while, a new thought repeated in his head: “I don’t even have that guy’s name to apologise.”

He eventually reached the new room 203, out of breath, and the teacher kindly excused him whilst he made the embarrassing trek to his desk, the stares burning into his head. The one other person sitting at the back giggled, and immediately sat up straight as the teacher called them on to do a question. The first lesson of the year, and Renjun couldn’t concentrate because of some boy who caught him tripping and even bothered to tell him he was in the wrong building. That, and the added fact that he _felt horrible for not believing him._

His face haunted him for the rest of the day, his mind defaulting to him when he zoned out. 

By the end of the day, his words were practically tattooed into his brain; he went over it so much. It never made him feel any better about it, but every time, he would hope it did. 

“You...okay?” the faraway voice said to him. “....okay? Renjun?” The teacher stood in front of him. 

“Oh! Uh, yes. That’s me.”

“Great. Could you answer the question on the board, please.” Judging by her tone, she was already borderline losing patience. The class’ laughs calmed down, and he got the question correct. 

“Yes. Thank you, Renjun,” she said curtly. “Pay attention next time. So next…” Renjun put his hands to his cheeks- they were burning up. So were his ears. The classroom was starting to blur and spin too. Swaying trees became splashes of green and pink.

He lay his head on the table, and sighed once again. 

“My day was _great_ , thanks for asking,” Renjun said to an empty dorm room, throwing his books on the bed. “Said day isn’t even over, god damnit.” He’d gotten a sandwich from the dining hall (overpriced, if you asked him) and immediately stalked out. Half way through preparing for afternoon classes, Donghyuck burst in laughing whilst saying goodbye to a friend. His laughter ceased as he lay eyes on a sullen Renjun at his desk. He could get used to this, but he wouldn’t. 

“Enjoying that expensive ass sandwich that was definitely, definitely worth the money you probably don’t have?” 

“How’d you know.”

“I’ve been here longer than you. Of course I’d know. I know a lot,” Donghyuck said nonchalantly. 

“Surprising.”

“I know right! Aren’t I just such a surprising person?” Renjun paused, before turning to look straight at him.

“To answer your question: yes, I am very much enjoying this delicious, gourmet sandwich. 10 out of 10, life changing, monumental.” And he focused back on digging around his suitcase for those damn maths books. Not that he particularly needed them- he knew the content inside out already. He kind of needed to. 

“That’s _amazing_ to know!” Donghyuck said, obviously amused by Renjun’s bitterness. The clock sounded at the end of lunch time, and Renjun stuffed the rest of the sandwich in his mouth and started to head out. He would never get one of them again.

The rest of that first week crept by, without many people to talk with. Sure; Renjun had friends from his old school but they were just as busy. Assignment after assignment was piled onto him, and the irony was that there was no homework- it would be the same as school work. Though he will say, hard work was a great distraction from how much of an outsider he was. 

“If you don’t fit in within the first week, you’re never going to,” Renjun thought to himself, flying through a maths worksheet. Had he been destined or cursed to win that lottery? Now he was leaning more towards the latter. 

Another week, another week. 

Renjun made sure this time to check the building before going in: west for physics, period 1, monday. By now the “effects” of that boy softened to him simply appearing at the most random times of day and making Renjun wince at his own pettiness. Well, at least _he_ had some self-awareness. The same still couldn’t be said for Donghyuck. That pesky brat. 

“You up buttercup?”

“I _told you_ ,” Renjun sighed, out of energy even though he’d just woken up, “to not call me that.”

“Then what would you prefer?”

“My name?”

“Huh. Oh yeah. And what was that again? Renjeon?” Donghyuck adjusted his collar and threw his clothes into the laundry basket. “Something like that.”

“Ren _jun_ , actually.” He shrugged. 

“Like I said, something like that.” Renjun rolled his eyes at the sink, spitting out the toothpaste with more force than he intended. He side eyed Donghyuck as he got his cleanly pressed shirt from his closet, who blinked as if to say “what do you want now?” What Renjun wanted, was some peace, except not the kind he’d been getting. Also some peace of mind from that damn incident at the staircase and oh- he was thinking about that boy again. Damn. 

“See ya later Renjeon!” Donghyuck grinned; of course, he knew.

“That’s…” the door closed. “...not my name. For fuck’s sake…” Today would be a longer day than usual. 

“Class dismissed!” Renjun’s history teacher announced, and the class, including Renjun, started to pack up. “Oh! Renjun could you come and see me at lunch? Just here.” Oh god, he could only imagine what piece of mind his teacher wanted to give him. “You’re not in trouble- just want to talk to you.” Translation: he was in trouble. 

“Sure, sir.”

“Don’t forget!”

“I won’t, sir,” he slightly bowed his head as he left. 

By the time he’d left, the next class was already waiting outside. As if coloured in a different hue, Renjun’s eyes immediately rested on _that_ boy, talking with his friends and about to go in. He was the last one to leave. And it was now or never to apologise. 

“Uh, sorry…” the boy turned to him with a neutral expression. Almost unreadable. That scared Renjun. 

“I uh...bumped into you the other day last week and you happened to tell me I was in the wrong building but I didn’t believe you because I just didn’t so I just wanted to say sorry and I feel like I owe you something now and sorry,” it all came out in one breath. 

And he held another, as the boy glanced at his friends who shrugged back at him. They’d all gone silent. 

“I don’t remember. But thanks I guess.”

“May I...your name?”

“Lee Jeno. And you?”

“Huang Renjun.”

“Okay.”

“...okay.” Oh god, Renjun regretted this. Jeno’s friends were hiding giggles; he just knew it. Lips pressed into upturned curves. 

“You may come in class!” Saved by the teacher- something Renjun thought he’d never experience. Just as Renjun was about to scurry away, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Could I perhaps talk to you later then? Just…” _Talk_? 

“Uh sure! I can meet you-”

“Library then?” Jeno nervously glanced at the teacher.

“Sure, that works. What time-”  
“Jeno, would you like to come to my class any time soon?” The teacher tapped his foot. “And Renjun, if you get in trouble with your next teacher, it won’t be my fault.” The pair shared apologetic glances.

“4pm-”

“Yeah, yeah okay.” And Jeno was whisked away. 

_Talk?_

Flurries of whispers were spreading across the classroom as Jeno walked in, but quickly quietened with the single glare he cast.

“That’s a scholar kid right?” Chenle, his friend and seatmate murmured to him (or at least tried to). Jeno shrugged. 

“I mean, probably. Never seen him around here.”

“Lee Jeno...don’t make me have to-”

“You won’t, sir,” he swiftly replied. He’d gotten an expert at dodging scolding from teachers at this point. Chenle slipped him a note: “You interested in him or what.”

“Maybe,” Jeno wrote back. 

“Are you sure though?”

“I said maybe.”

“Up to you. I heard that one in particular is Different.”

“Good. I need some change in more ways than one.”

“Why are you _here_?” Jeno said after searching both stories of the library for Renjun, only to find him in a small corner with a book.

“I got bored-” Renjun coughed, “sorry if I was hard to find.” Jeno settled down next to him and slipped off his school bag. 

“It’s okay. Privacy is something I don’t get much anyway.”

“Lee Jeno.” Something sprung to Renjun’s mind about that name.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“I’ve heard something about you but I can’t quite remember what…” Jeno blushed red and hung his head. 

“Probably Donghyuck. Your roommate?” 

“Oh yes, that bitc- dude. That dude,” Renjun caught his tongue. 

“We’re somewhat rivals. He used to be super popular; his smarts and all, but after that one time…let’s just say he’s extremely wary of me now.”

“You come off as a popular type to me. So why would you want to _talk_?” Other than with teachers, this was probably the first civil conversation Renjun had had with someone since coming. 

“You mentioned you felt like you owed me, or something.”

“And I stand by that. ‘Cause it’s just that Donghyuck has been like-”

“It’s okay. I know what he’s like...” They paused and looked at each other. Renjun couldn’t help but notice even the smile in Jeno’s eyes. 

“Unusual,” they said in unison and giggled; the librarian hushed them and they resorted to knowing grins. 

“But yes,” Jeno continued, “So I do actually have something you could do for me-”

“Great! What is it?”

“-I don’t wanna seem like I’m taking advantage of you but-”

“I mean as long as it doesn’t involve money I guess.” Who was he kidding- everyone here was rich anyway. 

“Could you come this Saturday to the stables and give me some feedback on something? A dressage test I’ve been trying to perfect,” Jeno apologetically said. His widened puppy eyes were hard to resist and Renjun immediately replied, 

“Oh. That seems small enough, so sure. What time?”

What was he getting himself into? He didn’t even know the first thing about _anything_ dressage. And he didn’t have time to read up on it at some point. Oh no, oh no.

Jeno excitedly clapped, before earning a glare from the librarian and quieting again.

“3 until dinner time!” There went Renjun’s three hours of ideal working time. 

“I’ll see what I can do, but okay. I’ll come.” Jeno started to get his bag together and stood up. 

“I’ll see you then!” That smile was surprisingly persuasive. Maybe he’d charmed his way into getting good grades, Renjun thought. Although somehow, that seemed out of character. 

“See you!” And he left, leaving a warm spot on the carpet next to Renjun. 

“Saturday...saturday…” the word drummed into Renjun’s skull, as he sat at his desk that evening looking through the extra things his history teacher had given him. The words swam on the page. He was never going to read through these tonight. 

“So I heard a certain someone is _acquainted_ with another certain someone?” Donghyuck burst through the door. _Never_ going to read the sheets tonight. 

“Maybe so.” His hunch that Jeno was considered popular was correct- how else had the news gotten around so quickly?

“People tell me lots, you see. I know a lot,” Donghyuck said, as if reading his mind. He dumped some books onto his bed and went to take a shower. 

“Oh yeah? I would’ve never guessed.” _I have no idea what half of this is saying,_ Renjun thought, at least trying to concentrate. 

“Well, I do. _But_ …” Donghyuck poked his head around the door, “I’d like to be a primary source in explaining this.” _Primary sources...sounds familiar._

“You find out at the same time everyone else does,” Renjun nonchalantly said. Donghyuck groaned over the spray of the shower. 

“Boring,” his voice echoed out. Renjun sighed, getting up to change and prepare to sleep; there was no point in trying anymore. Thoughts sloshed around in his mind, but whenever he fished out a coherent one, it said: saturday.

The rest of the week rather than quiet, was hushed. Instead of eyes of amusement, there were eyes of curiosity; Renjun disdained both. Which ironically, just made it worse. Was he that easy to read? 

As for Jeno, the same could not be said. Being constantly surrounded by clouds of yet another rumour was old school, but he would never get used to it. 

"People will jump to conclusions really easily, huh," he remarked during lunch. Jaemin, sat beside him, shrugged. 

"Can you blame them?" 

"Of course!" Chenle, sat opposite, burst out laughing. 

"Tell us and we'll pass it on. That usually works anyway." 

"I don't know. I wouldn't want to reveal something I shouldn't." 

"Why not?" Jaemin poked his fork at him. "You always have. And it works because everyone just _loves_ to hear from you," he said with an air of joking sarcasm. 

"Everyone except Donghyuck that is."

"He doesn't have a choice as long as he has me," Jaemin smirked. "And trust me, he loves it. The more he knows." 

"Tell us!" Chenle groaned, but still, Jeno shook his head. 

"Maybe another time. Later."

"Whatever you say _prince Jeno_ ," Jaemin rolled his eyes at the nickname his best friend had earnt. Jeno stuck out his tongue, standing up and the others following suit. 

"Flattered as appropriate."

As rancid as the stables were, it was home to Jeno. 

“Hello girl…” he murmured as he approached the usual stable. “You’re gonna have an audience for once, how’d you like that?” She rubbed her head into Jeno’s chest and he giggled. “Wakey wakey sleepy. Time to show off.”

“What’s her name?” Renjun leant on the door, genuinely curious now. 

“You-you’re early,” Jeno stammered out, realising Renjun had probably been behind him this whole time. Renjun shrugged. 

“Better than getting frustrated you can’t concentrate.”

“Donghyuck?” 

“You know it.” Jeno hummed in response, starting to groom the horse down. 

“So, her name? I assume,” Renjun read off the label, “‘Beaches of Honey’ isn’t her actual name.”

“It’s her show name, so I call her Sandie.” Renjun nodded. 

“How plain.” Was it just him or was it really hot outside today? “Do you need any help at the moment?” Jeno checked his watch and shook his head. 

“It’ll take me awhile to groom and tack up, all that jazz.”

“Then tell me about yourself,” Renjun pulled out a spare mounting block to sit on outside. “Talk.”

“There’s not much to say,” Jeno forcefully untangled Sandie’s mane. 

“You’re lying. You’re the type who has a lot to say, but can’t.” Jeno raised his eyebrows at that. 

“What makes you say that?”

“Logic. Also the fact that you’re popular. Probably means you got some stories hidden up your sleeves.” 

“Everyone does.”

“So you admit it?” Jeno thought for a moment, before going back to brushing out dust. 

“Sure I do. But you’ll probably find most of them lying around corners of the school. Go on a treasure hunt to find them some time,” he smiled mysteriously. “You’re a scholarship student right?”

“I’m starting to regret being smart, but yes.” It was nice to get the words off of his chest.

“Why’s that?” Instead of the hint of amusement Renjun would’ve expected, Jeno’s eyes were curiously gazing at his. Gentle. 

“It’s hard with no one to rely on, I guess. I’m so used to a normal public school that this fancy place is...weird.”

“Like a storybook?”

“Exactly.”

“Yeah...everyone was like that for the first weeks,” Jeno alternated glances between Renjun and Sandie. “I like to think of it as a fresh new page, like you get to choose who to be.”

“Bit late for that,” Renjun coughed from the dust. “Everyone thinks I’m a joke.” Now that he’d said it out loud, it was immortalised. He would come to learn whether it would bite him back. 

“I mean...I don’t.”

“Really?”

“...maybe not as much?”

“There it is,” Renjun sighed. 

“Sorry?” There was an awkward silence before Renjun got up. 

“I should go-”

“Please don’t! Give me ten minutes!” Jeno vigorously brushed off more dust, making Renjun cough even more, and they dissolved into a fit of giggles. 

“It gets better! You don’t have to come again after this by the way,” he tossed the brush away and started to tack up. 

“I might just anyway.”

“You really don’t have to-”

“The more you say that, the more likely I am to do it.” Jeno exhaled, and collected his thoughts. He was _going_ to see this ended well.

“Alright, come when you want then. But don’t tell anyone. Just, please don’t.” Renjun gestured at the saddle still sitting on the door.

“You can tack and talk at the same time,” he said, changing the subject. 

At last, Jeno clicked on his helmet and walked them both over to an empty indoor arena. He pointed over to a bench whilst he entered, 

“You can sit there. I’ll warm up first.”

Even in the warm up, both of them moved effortlessly- Renjun didn’t expect to be intrigued, but he was. For such a clunky horse, Jeno made Sandie move so daintily; elegantly. They streaked across the arena, and Renjun found himself in a trance.

They were beautiful. 

“I’ll start the test at centre, and you can try follow along, hm?” Jeno rode over to where Renjun was sitting. Now that they were directly in front, it dwarfed Renjun. 

“Is it too late to say I don’t know anything about riding?” He called to Jeno as he rode to the centre. A tinkly laugh returned to him. 

“Even better. I gotta learn how to please a general audience too. But yeah, you could’ve told me sooner.” 

They came to halt at centre, before Jeno brought his head up and they started in trot. From then on, it was all a blur to Renjun. 

Tunes played from every step he took, even though there wasn’t music- dancing in solitary. Tracing patterns in the sand, Jeno made Sandie look as light as ever, almost like hovering above the ground. There was something oh-so-majestic about him, Renjun realised. Neither him or Sandie were wearing anything particularly flashy, but Renjun swore he could see trails of sparkles. Did they move telepathically? 

He didn’t even realised when they’d finished, and came back over, Jeno breathing heavily. 

“What do you think?” 

“Uh...yeah, it’s great,” Renjun said, still speechless. “Beautiful.” Jeno reached down to pet Sandie’s neck. 

“You can pet her too if you want.” Renjun hesitantly stood up and looked back at Jeno for confirmation. 

“Hold your hand out and let her smell. Then you can rub her forehead. Yeah, like that. She won’t bite,” Jeno smiled down and hugged her. 

“She’s a good girl…” Renjun murmured as Sandie tried to nip at his fingers. The passion was clear in Jeno’s voice, as he explained her heritage. 

“You really love riding, huh?” Renjun stuffed his hands back in his pockets. 

“I do. And she likes you too.”

“She better, because she’s gonna see me more often now.” Jeno’s eyes widened. 

“Wait, you’ll actually come again?”

“I mean, sure. As long as you’d like me to. And I hope you do,” Renjun said, the words stumbling out clumsily. 

“If it’s not too much trouble for you…you’re welcome to.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Renjun smiled- what a pretty smile, Jeno thought. _And I like that I’m the cause of that smile._

The bell signalled dinner time, and Renjun jumped down from the bench. 

“I should go now then. What about your dinner?”

“I usually order in for days like this. Also means this place is a lot emptier.” Renjun nodded. 

“Goodbye for now then?” Jeno waved and turned Sandie back onto the track. 

“See you soon!”

Not even the secretive giggles and whispers that followed him could dull Renjun’s glow as he walked out of the stables. 

“I’m going to ask you a genuine question, Donghyuck, and I want a genuine answer.”

“Well, that depends on what the question is,” Donghyuck replied, not looking up from his book. It was raining heavily that evening, hence why there was no one outside. Friends could only communicate through texting, and the constant vibrating of Donghyuck’s phone annoyed Renjun to no end. 

“Why is it that any time I go anywhere, there’s people whispering? Like, even when they were just talking they immediately go quiet. Why is that?”

“Ah, see that you may just need to ask them,” Donghyuck sarcastically grinned. “Sorry.”

“You have a point, I guess,” Renjun sighed and flopped on his bed, narrowly avoiding hitting his head on the backboard. “Why me?”

“Reasons. I mean, no offence, but have you not realised you’re a bit of an outcast here?” When Donghyuck said it like _that…_

“Of course I have.”

“Then think a bit further. Or ask someone else.”

“Aren’t you supposed to ‘know’ a lot?” Renjun raised his eyebrow at Donghyuck, figuring he might be able to persuade him a little. 

“Yes. And I do.”

“So why can’t you tell me?” Donghyuck threw his phone on the bed. 

“Fine! Since you want the information so badly apparently…”

“No wait! Am I going to regret-”

“...the school kinda sorta thinks you and Lee Jeno are dating.” Renjun stared at Donghyuck for a few seconds, incredulous. “Which I personally think is bullshit. I mean it’s such a reach, don’t you think? But then again…”

“Why the _fuck_ would the school think that?” Renjun was now starting to sweat, and his hands subconsciously formed a fist. Donghyuck simply shrugged. 

“Apparently someone saw you two on Saturday when Jeno was practicing. He never lets anyone see him practice, and I mean _never_. Something to do with ‘the surprise element’,” he shrugged again and went to plug his phone in to charge. “So then they told someone and then the someone told someone, and you know how it is.”

“...amazing,” Renjun muffled out, lying face down on his pillow. His brain ran through a list of new questions now, but they all amounted to this one: _why him?_

Knowing what the whispers were about was a whole new experience, and one Renjun disliked almost as much as everyone else as a whole. He’d earnt attention, but at what cost?

“Is it true?” His seatmate, Jisung, once mumbled to him.

“About what?” Renjun said, knowing full well what he was asking about. 

“That you and Jeno are dating? He refuses to tell us anything,” he whined. 

“If he refuses then I do too,” he coldly answered. The teacher walking past them both made them shut up temporarily, but it wasn’t long before Jisung said something again:

“Do you want my guess on things?” Did he really want his guess? Not really. Did he say yes anyway?

“Go ahead.”

“I have a theory he’s questioning...stuff. And-” the teacher glared at them both before Jisung continued quickly, “-and since you’re new, it makes you like…”

“Easy to use? Somehow, I doubt he has bad intentions.”

“Of course not, but like-”

“Jisung…” the teacher warned, and he hung his head, pretending to write something on the worksheet he’d barely started. Renjun was almost finished. 

“Like I said, if he’s not telling then I won’t.” 

Jisung didn’t say a word more to him for the next couple lessons. 

“Not a thing,” Jisung shook his head, approaching Chenle at their usual place under the east sakura tree. The latter patted a place beside him on the grass. 

“I told you so. If Jeno won’t talk, of course he wouldn't.” Jisung sighed and lay across Chenle’s lap. 

“It was worth a try.”

“You tried,” Chenle downed the rest of his juice box. “Anyways, you know how Jeno is. Better than me.”

“But still. Nothing else could explain it. We’re his closest friends and he _never_ lets us! And Jaemin-” Chenle stroked his hair gently, taking in the breeze.

“Don’t get too worked up about it-”

“-Jaemin did riding before right? And they’ve been friends for ages-”

“Shhhh. You know how they were after _that_.” Jisung slowly nodded, gratefully taking the pretzels Chenle offered to him. 

“I suppose so. I still don’t get how it all happened to be honest.”

“Long story short, they’re salty. All of ‘em.”

“Donghyuck more than them, right?” Chenle nodded. 

“That’s just how he is. After Jaemin asked him out it just went meh from there. They’ll snap back,” he crunched a pretzel loudly. “They’ve been friends since primary school days. They’re sure to.” Jisung swatted away falling crumbs onto his torso, and blew away flies from the pretzel packet. 

“Like we did?”

“I mean we didn’t have a Donghyuck to get in the way; kinda incomparable.”

“You know, I don’t think he’s all that bad,” Jisung commented, staring at the clouds through the buds. They would bloom any day now, and cover the ground in a blanket of pink. 

“He isn’t,” Chenle said. “Just a tad prideful. Other than that, I mean I got nothing against him.” A paper plane landed beside him, and he threw it back to the laughing group of students near by them. It didn’t go very far- looping back and landing by Jisung’s head. Without sitting up, Jisung tossed it backwards; soaring right to its destination. He clicked his tongue and Chenle rolled his eyes. 

“You too.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re also a little egotistic too, you know that?” Jisung attempted to throw a pretzel into his mouth, instead it landed on his nose. 

“A healthy amount. I’m perfect.”

“There you go, point proven.” Chenle leant down slightly to place a kiss on Jisung’s forehead. “Jeno will tell when he’s ready.” He sat back up, leaning against the tree trunk and blowing a stray leaf from his shoulder. 

“In other news, your theory was correct. I asked just now via notes.”

“You ought to stop with the notes. People can read.”

“What’s said in the notes, stays in the notes. Try it someday.” Jisung munched on. 

“I’ll pass. My theory was right?”

“Yeah. He said he’s bi-curious.”

“Stellar.” A couple birds flew ahead, and the clock chimed for the next classes to start soon. The pair stayed there for a while more. 

“Anything else?”

“Other than the literal stack of past papers I got for maths? I don’t think so.” Jisung laughed at that, pointing at Chenle teasingly. 

“It’s what you get for being big brain.” Chenle pushed him off his lap, gathering his things and stuffing the half-empty pretzel packet in his bag. It would probably be finished by the end of the day. 

“Everyone here’s big brain though.”

“Then biggest brain. My Chenle is _biggest_ brain,” Jisung grinned and elbowed him in the side. Chenle frowned at the “my” but let it go this once. 

“Thanks uh...Jisung,” he buffered whilst trying to think of a nickname and buried his head in his hands as Jisung stood still to laugh. 

“You tried,” he pretended to wipe a tear from his eyes and Chenle giggled along. 

“I suppose I did. I’ll think of something good one day.”

“That day will come after I die,” Jisung said. “But ‘til then, I’ll enjoy just my name. It sounds so sweet when you say it.”

“...stop,” Chenle facepalmed. “Stop!” 

“Never!”

“It gets better every time. That spinny thing and the drifty thing was really cool,” Renjun commented another Saturday as Jeno returned to his side of the arena, briefly taking off the helmet and shaking out sweaty hair. He’d started to bring extra treats for Sandie too- needless to say, she loved him now. 

Saturdays had become Renjun’s weekly highlight; mainly because it was one of the only times he had student interaction. That, and also the spite in knowing he was causing mass confusion. Maybe he would get used to the spotlight one day. 

“Do you think so? It doesn’t feel like it today,” Jeno said, clicking the helmet back on. 

“Come here a second…” Renjun gestured for Jeno to lean forward, and he did. He took the helmet off again and combed out Jeno’s hair, which had somehow gotten itself in knots. Despite the slight...odour, his hair ran silky smooth against his fingers once untangled. 

“Okay better now,” Renjun said, putting the helmet back on. Jeno noticed he had to stand on tip-toes on the bench to reach his head. 

“Th-thanks,” he stuttered out eventually. “At least I’ll fail whilst looking good.”

“What do you mean ‘fail’?” Renjun fed Sandie a piece of carrot. “It looked great as usual.”

“‘As usual’...” Jeno repeated, turning the words over and over in his brain. “I hate that phrase. You’re not surprised or impressed anymore.”

“Jeno, that’s really not a sustainable mindset to have…” Renjun sat down on the bench, straining his neck to have eye contact. “You can’t just live life constantly on the high.”

“I don’t. That’s why I don’t let anyone see me practice, other than an instructor sometimes. Everything is my own little secret.” Jeno subconsciously tightened his grip on the reins, making Sandie jerk her head up suddenly. 

“Then why let me see?” 

Jeno stared down at Sandie’s withers. Silence blanketed the already hot air. 

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“Who do I have to tell? It’s not like I have more friends other than you.” Ouch.

“I don’t know,” Jeno simply said, not wanting to fully lie, but also not the truth. That, would be scary. “I’m sorry.” He hung his head, until he felt a hand on his left, gripping ever-so gently. 

“Don’t be. I daresay I’ll know eventually,” Renjun cheekily grinned. 

“You’re probably right. But you really trust me that much?”

“I’m an easy person,” Renjun shrugged. And in that moment, Jeno took Renjun’s pinkie and interlaced it with his gloved one. 

“Thanks. For trusting me like that.”

“-for putting up with me,” Renjun smiled, a beautiful smile. 

  
  


Not even music could fill up the empty space of the dorm another Saturday afternoon, as Renjun worked through paper after paper. 

"Integrate…sure, I don't care," he muttered through. Scritch scratch, went his pencil across the page. Oddly enough, despite none of Donghyuck’s random humming and endless phone vibrations being there, Renjun found himself staring into space every so often. He glanced over to the window, where sunshine streamed in and warmed Donghyuck’s bed, closest to it. 

“I wonder if Jeno misses me this once...too bad,” he thought out loud and put pencil to paper again. He’d gotten dinner ahead of time, and was slowly munching on cold pasta from a plastic box. 

“Is that it?” Renjun said again some time later, filing through the worksheets and papers from that week. Perhaps using his freetime that week for sleeping wasn’t the best decision. “Nope, of course there’s more,” he sighed, closing one textbook and opening another.

And then, a knock on the door. Once, then twice; quite insistent. It drummed a specific rhythm, like a secret password. 

“Donghyuck can’t have forgotten the keys…” Renjun said to himself, getting up for the first time in the past hour to open the door. His back cracked in satisfaction. Just as another round of knocks started, Renjun clicked the door open. 

“Did you expect this?” a smug Jeno greeted Renjun. 

“There’s no point in having expectations in you if either way you’re going to surprise me.”

“Acceptable answer,” Jeno said, letting himself through and Renjun closed the door behind him. “Hope I’m not disturbing anything.”

“Actually, you came at a perfect time,” Renjun sat at his desk and motioned Jeno to his bed. “‘Cause Donghyuck’s not here.”

“Oh, I knew that,” Jeno said breezily, shaking his shirt to cool off. Presumably, he’d just come from practice, or at most had a quick shower. Renjun raised an eyebrow, flicking to the next page of the textbook. 

“How come?”

“I set him up to go on a date with Jaemin. Then it was just pure luck that you were in here, even though I honestly don’t see you as the type to study in the library. Too much coughing and too many people.”

“You planned this?”

“Sort of, maybe,” Jeno took off his glasses for a second to wipe some sweat. “Just _my_ luck I happen to have connections.”

“You’re popular- of course you would.” Fuck this textbook, Renjun thought as he barely registered a word on the page. Jeno visibly cringed at the word “popular” . 

“It hasn’t always been like that. Popularity is relative anyway,” he scrunched his nose cutely. “I couldn’t care less.”

“Must be tiring.” _Wow, none of this information makes sense._

“What is?”

“Being you.” Jeno laughed loud and long at that, putting his glasses back on. 

“I get lots of practice.” He slid off Renjun’s bed onto the floor beside his desk. “Same for you though. No wonder you didn’t come today,” he picked up some binders next to Renjun, flipping through. Despite the notes being impeccably well-written, there would be an occasional doodle in the margins, or a strip torn out entirely from its edge.

“Do you need help with any of it?”

“I think I’ll be fine for now. Just as long as you don’t distract me I guess, and I’ll be done soon.” A bit of a problem since his entire existence was now a (welcome) distraction to Renjun, but he’d make it work. Somehow. 

Jeno stretched himself out on the sunny part of the carpet, soaking up the droplets of honeyed light. Renjun took a glance over his shoulder. 

“You look like my cat back home. He loves napping by the window.”

“I’ve been told similar things. But cats are superior, so…”

“Sandie would be horrified you said that.”

“Yeah, well, she’s gonna have to deal with it. Cats are best,” Jeno sat up slightly to check on Renjun. “Are you sure you don’t need help?”

“ _Yes,_ I’ll be fine,” Renjun insisted. 

“Have you taken a break?”

“I ate just now.”

“That’s gre-”

“Whilst doing my literature essay.”

“-not great. Take a break soon,” Jeno lay back down. “Preferably now, actually.”

“Clingy, much?,” Renjun called over, scribbling away at his page. He’d be lying if he said he knew exactly what he was writing. 

“I’ve been called worse,” Jeno replied casually. 

“Not surprised.” Silence was different now, as Renjun was ever aware of the other being in the room. The other being happening to also be extremely...distracting. Not that he would have it any other way. 

Jeno got up suddenly, stretched and sat back on Renjun’s bed, saying something about not wanting to sweat again, as nice as the evening sun was.

“How can you do all this in one sitting?” He craned his neck to read the open textbook.

“I just do,” Renjun sighed. “It needs to get done at some point.”

“That’s fair.” Jeno sat in thoughtful silence, before continuing, 

“You scholar students are smart.”

“I mean, the general population of this school is smart; that’s kinda the whole point.”

“Are you ever worried about the competition?”

“I’ve just...accepted it,” Renjun carried on writing, at least trying to divide his attention- an impossible task. 

“But do you worry about being the best?” Jeno fiddled with his shirt buttons. 

“Sometimes,” Renjun shrugged. “It’s a nice feeling; being the best. Nice, but rare. At least for me.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Then that’s your problem. I’m not the best, and will never always be. No one will, Jeno,” he said pointedly. He was too concentrated to notice Jeno’s fond, yet almost pained smile behind his back. 

“Why not?”

“It’s not a realistic thing to aim for in life. And like you said too, ‘bestness’ is relative.” Satisfied, he finished off his answer and slumped back in his chair. 

“That’s sorta the whole implication of the word ‘best’, but okay.” Renjun was digging through his bag and flinging out random papers in all directions, one of which landed on Jeno’s lap. On the front: a list of formulas and the other side: a doodle of a tree. The paper was crumpled from being in the bag for so long, and almost seemed glad to have found the light. 

“That’s also true. But why are _you_ worried about it then?” Renjun appeared to have given up searching and sat against his bed’s backboard, whilst Jeno sat on the side. 

“Pride, I guess. I know it’s petty as fuck but....” Renjun nodded, sitting back thoughtfully. 

“But?”

“Maybe it’s just grown into me. I hate it, I _hate_ it,” Jeno shook his head, looking to Renjun almost helplessly, who gently took his arm and replied, 

“Re-learn it then. You’re smart- that should be simple.”

“ _Should_.” Jeno flopped backwards across Renjun’s bed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you this.”

“No need to be,” Renjun retracted his hand, leaving a cold mark on Jeno’s arm. “Everyone goes through it. If anything, it’s great you wanna let go of it.” 

Jeno studied the ceiling of Renjun’s dorm- reminiscing from the tiny holes and blu tack marks. _They used to have so much fun here_. 

“...I should go now. Before they arrive back,” he sat up to gather his things, combing through his hair roughly. “Promise you’ll come next week?”

“Give me your number and I’ll text you in case I can’t.”

“Oh my god,” Jeno gasped, taking out his phone and clicking around. “I completely forgot to ask you that.” He handed his phone to Renjun to enter his number; Renjun saved himself as “no one” in the contacts. Jeno laughed upon seeing it, slipping his phone into his pocket. 

“I’ll change that later. You’re not a no one.”

“Please. Try and convince me otherwise.” 

Just as Jeno was heading out, the door nearly slammed open in his face. 

“Renjun, you will not bel- oh. Lee Jeno.” Donghyuck did a once over on him and tilted his head. He squinted close, studying him until Renjun wondered if he could tell Jeno was holding his breath the entire time. 

“Funny seeing you in _my_ dorm room.”

“Actually, it’s ours,” Renjun called over casually.

“Oh yes, of course. _Our_ dorm room. That doesn’t explain why _you’re_ here though,” Donghyuck brushed past Jeno and dumped his bags onto his bed. “Ah...you must be here to see my dear roommate then? Of course, of course.” He giggled to himself. “Maybe those rumours were true then. Fancy _me_ not knowing better!” Jeno had kept silent this whole time, but his stare hardened now. It really, really didn’t help that he was still slightly sweaty.

“Nothing happened that you should know of,” Jeno said, eyes steely. Renjun would be lying if he said that he couldn’t see fire alight in them.

“And fancy Lee Jeno not telling the whole truth for once! What a first!” He went over to Jeno and put a hand on his shoulder, and Jeno shrugged it off immediately. “You haven’t changed a bit, you know that?” Donghyuck then went into the bathroom, on the right. 

“Thanks? Can I leave now?” Jeno said now, colder. 

“Not a thing has changed,” Donghyuck hummed. “Which is great- you’re just good as you are, you kn-”

“ _I will be leaving now_ ,” Jeno sighed. Renjun swore he caught a wink in his direction, and then the door closed. His phone vibrated on his desk at that moment; a text from an unknown number.

 _I’ll fill you in some other time. I promise._

“Yeah, he better,” Renjun thought. 

Jeno’s knuckles nearly turned white from gripping his phone so hard, as he paced down the corridor. 

“He means none of it,” he convinced himself. “Nothing from him means anything.” He caught his breath, opening the door to cool dusk air. Oh, how he needed this so badly. 

“ _I’m_ the b-” and he stopped in his tracks. Had he really just told Renjun all that? So easily? 

“I’m…” Jeno ignored the vibration from the new message. “I…like him.” It was weird hearing himself admit it out loud, sending the words into faint spirals of vapour. He carefully repeated it, as if he hadn’t heard himself say it the first time. And again, and again, until it no longer sounded real. But it was. 

He woke up to at least a hundred messages from the group chat; a usual occurrence despite the fact that Jaemin, Chenle and Jisung all lived in the same building. The blaringly bright screen woke him up more so than his alarm, and he lazily scrolled through. He’d gotten around to replying to Renjun the previous evening, and it had started an hour long conversation fully consisting of debating the most stupid things and memes. You couldn’t forget the memes.

But then something caught his eye, from the group chat. 

_I knew it Jeno!_

_Omg wait really_

_Damnnnnn_

He checked up on instagram and there it was: the story in all its glory. Jeno lay face down on his pillow, groaning. It was times like this he was glad he didn’t have a roommate. Although back in the day, Jaemin and Donghyuck were practically his roommates, to the teachers’ annoyance. 

He remembered the days they would explore the school, wide eyed and so much younger than they thought they looked. That time they snuck out of their dorms at midnight to meet in secret by the pool- Donghyuck ended up throwing Jaemin in the pool, the shouts awakening a teacher’s building nearby and being caught, wet and smelling like chlorine. Jeno didn’t remember exactly when he started to grow apart from Donghyuck; sometimes he thought it’s because of Jaemin. But of course it wasn’t- both him and Donghyuck knew that.

He remembered the day after comforting Jaemin alongside a defiant Donghyuck did some “motivational speech” (honestly the only part Jeno can quote now is “I will personally kick their kneecaps for you, don’t you worry your pretty head”). The next day, Jaemin somehow was deliriously tired enough to confess to Donghyuck in the middle of the cafeteria, to which Jeno nearly dropped his plate of food. He’d known for ages now, but the second hand embarrassment resonated with him to this day. Come to think of it, from that day onwards, no one laid a finger on Jaemin any longer. 

Jeno snapped out of it, re-opening whatsapp and replying his friends first in a flurry: 

_Uh_

_I woke up late_

_Oops_

_JENO_

And then Renjun. Oh god, he regretted roping him into this. Just as he was about to send the message; _incoming call: Renjunnie_. 

As soon as he picked up, he was met with a tired sigh. 

“I’m not even safe in the library.”

“Uh...sorry?” Jeno rolled out of bed, slipping on the school uniform shirt. The curtain was still closed- he didn’t feel like opening it. 

“You should be,” came Renjun’s grumpy voice on the other end. “I just go out to get breakfast and then-”

“Okay, okay. We’ll be fine. I promise.”

“You’re a big fan of promises aren’t you?” Jeno shoved the toothbrush in his mouth, holding his phone between his shoulder and neck. Somehow he was paranoid someone would listen in if he put it on speaker- the walls were thin at this school. That should explain how everything goes around so fast. 

“Look,” Jeno spit out the toothpaste in a hurry.

“More like listen, but go ahead.”

“Listen, Renjun. Before I say my suggestion, do you have _anything_?”

“Does I _seem_ like someone who’s gone through this? No!” Renjun's voice grew slightly, and even Jeno could hear the background hushes from the librarians. 

“And you think I have either?”

“Maybe? Probably?”  
“So I do have this idea...and you won’t like it,” Jeno carefully said, eating a stale granola bar in about three bites. 

“Shoot. It’s not like I-”

“We fake date.” 

Silence. Jeno held his breath for what felt like at least a minute. He nearly put the phone down for a second to organise the folders needed that day, when Renjun finally said,

“You’re right. I don’t like that idea.” _Ouch._

“But sure,” he heaved a sigh. “We can do that.” Jeno nearly choked, before re-collecting himself to pick the fallen phone up from his bed. 

“Jeno? You still there?”

“Uh-hem, yes. Really? You’d-”

“Jeno, do I look like I have another option? I’m in this with you.” The bell struck then- first lessons. His phone continued to vibrate with messages, probably mostly from Jaemin. Perhaps another salty text from Donghyuck too, if he was lucky. 

“Get to class now. We’ll go through with this,” Renjun said in a low voice, slipping through the library doors. Physics- West. It was easy to remember that now. 

“You sure?”

“Just get to class already. You probably woke up late judging by my five calls before this.”

“Fine. So if anyone asks…”

“Yeah, yeah okay. Anywhere you wanna meet?”

“My friends and I will be around the field area under a tree at lunch. You’ll find us.”

“See you then.” 

And Renjun ended the call. Just like that, it was done. They were unofficially, officially dating.


	2. Chapter 2

Renjun still couldn’t stomach that thought, all through physics and maths. Of course, he was asked at least three times, to which he simply shrugged and said yes. Somehow he couldn’t understand the subsequent wide grin the asker had making their way back to their desk. 

“I thought he hated us all,” he overheard someone say just after the lesson.

“Apparently not.”

“Are you kidding? He probably still does.” Ah, that person had the right idea. “Jeno though? I would’ve expected better from someone so seemingly stoic.” Never mind. 

“How does it feel? You know…” another classmate had the nerve to ask. Renjun rolled his eyes.

“Why does everyone have so much to ask? We’re dating, that’s all there is.”

“I mean…” Renjun’s expectant stare shut him up. Meanwhile his heart thumped away at the prospect of “Am I really going through with this?”

“That’s him, right?” Jaemin pointed to a lost looking figure from their usual spot under the tree. Chenle squinted his eyes. 

“Probably.” Jisung nudged Jeno, to his left. 

“Go get him then.”

“Oh. Should I?” But Jaemin had already pulled Jeno up roughly by the arm, pushing him in the general direction of Renjun.

“Save us your rants and just go.” And so Jeno jogged up to where Renjun had been wandering in loop-de-loops for the past three minutes. Renjun turned around again, just when Jeno reached him. 

“Babe.” Jeno swiveled him around. “You should get your eyes checked.”

“O-oh,” Renjun said, and then became immensely aware of the eyes on them. “Babe. Yeah. That’s a thing now.”

“Get used to it,” Jeno said, leading him by the waist to the tree. Renjun could almost feel a bowling ball in his stomach from the double meaning of that, because yeah- he really _would_ have to get used to it. 

Jaemin did a quick once-over of Renjun as he sat down. Jeno’s arm was now around his shoulder. 

“Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve met you yet, Renjun. I’m Jaemin,” he reached out a hand for Renjun to shake, which he took immediately. “Treat him good, or else,” he mouthed, retracted his hand and sat back against the tree with a proud smile. 

“Don’t be like that, Jaemin…” Jeno playfully warned, slapping his friend on the arm. “And Jisung?”

“Hm?” The boy in question looked up from slurping noodles. “Oh. Yeah. I know Renjun.” And he went back to the noodles. Perhaps Jeno had bitten off more than he could chew. Chenle jumped in straight after to introduce himself, and then proceeded to reel off how weird it was now seeing Jeno with a boy now, although not offensively. 

“-but I’m sure you’ll be fine!” he finished off brightly. 

“Uh, thanks, I guess,” Renjun offered an awkward smile. The warmth of Jeno’s arm was now burning into the side of his neck, so he swung it around so that he was holding his hand on his knee. 

“Mhm, cute,” Jaemin casually commented whilst Chenle let out a mini-squeal. Jeno breathed a sigh of relief. 

“So am I, right?” he squeezed Renjun’s hand as a signal, maintaining a gentle smile in his direction. Come to think of it, Renjun’s eyelashes looked beautifully long at this angle. 

“Of course!” Renjun said a little too animatedly, but Chenle laughed at that. Jisung was now playing some sort of video game from his phone in silence but occasionally sighing in frustration. Jaemin was by his side- coaching or scolding, Renjun couldn’t tell. 

He leant into Jeno, kind of naturally, his sturdy shoulder being a perfect pillow. He gazed up at him, only just now noticing a little shimmer in his eyes. 

“You think they like me?” he contorted his eyebrows and lips to hopefully say. Surprisingly, just a simple slow blink back told him yes.

“You sure?”

“I know them. They’ll warm up,” Jeno whispered, burying his forehead into Renjun’s hair. He couldn’t help but take in a faint artificial strawberry scent, with a hint of lemon. And the softness? Jeno could probably mistaken it for velvet. 

“How did you two get interested then?” Jaemin off-handedly asked, still at least half-engrossed in whatever Jisung was playing. 

“Uh, well-” they both started, glanced at each other- Renjun bit his lip and Jeno’s cheeks gave his embarrassment away. 

“How sweet!” Chenle exclaimed. “The synchronisation!” Of course, he wasn’t to know that that wasn’t quite the reason for it. Jaemin raised an eyebrow.

“Mhm?” he looked specifically at Jeno expectantly. He had no choice but to make something up. Well, not _completely_. 

“It was all kinda cliche- we met, got intrigued, all that jazz and now we’re here.”

“So intrigued that you’d invite him to see you practice? You must be _whipped_ , Jeno,” Jaemin said, a sly grin playing on his face. To be fair, what he said wasn’t a _complete_ lie, but all the same, Renjun felt his heart drum a little harder at that. 

“You know me!” Jeno rubbed an eyebrow, forcing a smile. 

“So do a lot of other people,” Jaemin carried on. 

“What about us?” Chenle pouted, who was now leaning on Jisung’s shoulder, equally fascinated with the screen. 

“Yeah!” Jisung spoke the loudest he had so far in this conversation. Quite frankly, he hadn’t been paying attention and was merely backing up Chenle. Jaemin waved a hand dismissively and turned back to the phone. 

“Of course, you two as well. Some _other_ people too though,” he pointedly looked at Jeno. 

“Donghyuck?” Renjun whispered under his breath to Jeno so that his lips didn’t appear to move. 

“What about him?” Jaemin caught on. Renjun’s eyes widened. 

“No-nothing! I was just-”

“Oh yes, that’s who I was referring to. Of _course_ ,” he did a cheshire cat grin at Jeno, who was currently controlling the urge to reach over and slap him. “In any case, I’m sure you two will be a happy couple,” he said breezily. 

“He does drama,” Jeno whispered to Renjun. That made a lot of sense. 

“Would’ve never guessed,” Renjun giggled- a lovely sound. 

Eventually the bell signalled the end of lunch and Renjun got up first from his place across Jeno’s lap, his neck kind of sore now. 

“I have...biology now.”

“I’m in the opposite building from you then. So is Jaemin,” Jeno got up too, subconsciously clinging onto Renjun despite being the taller one. 

“Opposite, as in just here,” Jaemin said, gesturing to East building to their right. 

“Then I’ll be going now,” Renjun said, now bracing himself for that kiss he knew Jeno was going to give him. Oddly enough, it was more of a butterfly peck on the cheek- lighter than he was expecting. Feathery and ticklish, making him smile against his will, but ironically being the exact act he was supposed to put up. 

Strangely, it felt as if this had happened a thousand times already.

Jeno and Jaemin walked to class in silence, naturally taking the long way that had become routine for them. Finally, Jaemin broke it:

“How long are you gonna keep this up?”

“Excuse me?” Jeno nearly stopped in his tracks. 

“You heard me,” Jaemin stopped a few paces ahead, looking back at him. “How long are you gonna keep this up?” Jeno’s eyes shifted left to right, left to right. 

“Did you really think _I_ wouldn’t notice? I literally study acting, Jeno. And you’ve gotten a C minus so far. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say you're getting a D...” Jeno was still speechless, until he eventually stuttered out;

“Okay so _maybe_ -”

“You can’t pull that shit on me!” Jaemin dragged Jeno along the corridor, laughing. “But seriously,” now he straightened up. “You should confess before he asks to ‘fake break up’ too.”

“You knew th-…?” Jaemin shook his head. 

“For someone so smart, you’re so dumb.”

“Was it obvious that…?”

“Not really,” Jaemin linked up their arms childishly. “As long as you’re more convincing around Donghyuck or just straight up avoid him, you’re good.”

“You won’t tell him right?” Jaemin felt Jeno’s arm tense up in the sudden fear shooting through his body at the prospect. 

“It’s not like he’s gonna ask. He already thinks he knows so he won’t ask for more- it’s enough fun for him knowing his new roommate is dating _you_ of all people.”

“And just what does that mean?” Jeno narrowed his eyes exaggeratedly.

“You’re you and he’s him,” Jaemin shrugged. 

“Don’t speak so soon. He’s amazing, for going with all of this…” he gestured vaguely at the air. “And something new, you know? I li-”

“You like him, I get it,” Jaemin winked. “Secrets stay with me.”

“We can’t avoid him forever,” Renjun said before sipping iced coffee (Jeno’s treat). 

Shortly after that lunchtime, he’d been added to what he thought would be a peaceful group chat, which turned out to be waking up to streams of messages every day. He never bothered reading many of them in detail, but from what he’s caught on, today it was debates about artificial intelligence. Had it not been for every other message being a somehow relevant meme, he would’ve taken part in it. Simultaneously, Jeno had somehow informed them that him and Renjun would be out for the afternoon- it was reacted to with yet more memes. Renjun was starting to think his phone storage was going to be in shambles by the end of the term. 

“We are?” He had messaged Jeno privately in response to his unannounced announcement. 

_Do you have anything to do? We’ll just go as friends_

_I know a place no one goes to_

_...will you pay?_

_For you? Anything bAbE ;)_

_:))))._

...

_But fine._

Jeno looked up from his phone.

“Does it look like I don’t know that?” he sighed. “Just your luck.”

“...are you gonna eat the rest?” Renjun eyed Jeno’s half-eaten cake.

“Take it,” Jeno pushed the plate towards him immediately, and Renjun dug in. 

“What even happened with you two though?” he said through a mouthful, covering up his mouth to catch crumbs. Jeno couldn’t help but wistfully smile. 

“I guess we just grew up, grew apart.” Of course, that wasn’t the _whole_ story.

“Do you want him back?” 

Never had Jeno ever thought he would be discussing his past in his favourite forest coffee shop sitting across a dork who also happened to be his crush. Brilliant. 

“Sometimes. He’s still close with Jaemin, since-”

“They’re dating? Figures.” Jeno’s eyes widened. 

“How’d you know?”

“The looks they give each other across the room during chemistry...no wonder the teacher separated them.”

“That must’ve been a funny day,” Jeno shook his head, taking a glance at Renjun through the rim of his glasses. He was half-tempted to wipe off the crumbs on his lips, but quickly stopped himself. 

“It would’ve been, had the teacher not taken up like half the lesson scolding them. Like excuse me, I require knowledge Miss,” Renjun took another bite. “It’s like telling a joke over and over until it’s barely funny anymore.”

“Like I do?” Renjun scrunched his nose, tilting his head in a puppy-like manner. 

“What makes you think that?”

“Jaemin always used to say that was like the epitome of my sense of humour. Donghyuck too.”

“They were wrong.”

“Or maybe you just don’t know me,” Jeno leaned back, trying to steal a bite from now Renjun’s cake only to have his fork clinked away. 

“Perhaps so,” Renjun replied. “But I wouldn’t have agreed to anything if I didn’t at all.”

“True. And thanks again for going along with it.”

“It’s fine,” Renjun waved his fork. “I’m starting to enjoy it anyway,” he said before he could stop himself. There was a moment of pause where he held his breath. But instead, Jeno simply smiled to himself, shyly. 

“I’m glad then. I was afraid I’d be a burden to you.”

“I was afraid I’d be a burden to _you_ ,” Renjun pointed his fork in Jeno’s face. “You know, as you had that popular rep going…” he continued nearly sheepishly. Jeno leaned forward, also taking that opportunity to get the last bite of cake. 

“I don’t think you’ll ever be a burden to me.” Jeno’s voice was silvery yet tender, and Renjun could nearly visualise it as how a ghost would talk. Hauntingly soft. 

He sat back and pouted from his last bite being taken away from him. 

“Should we leave now then?” Jeno bit his tongue at the sudden change of subject, internally cursing himself. But still, he got up and slipped his phone in his pocket. 

“If _you_ want to.”

They exited out of the back of the coffee shop, to a narrow path, that was just wide enough for the two of them. It wasn’t necessarily the way back, but according to Jeno he knew his way around the woodlands well from the occasional trail ride he would treat Sandie to. 

“The instructors trust me for some reason. They really shouldn’t let me go alone at all, but I’ll take what I can get,” Jeno trudged along the dirty path. It had been carved by feet, and wasn’t cemented like the main path. 

“So then you come here a lot?” Renjun intentionally stepped on a twig, and it broke with a satisfying snap. 

“After competition season. Way, way back when Jaemin did riding too, we would come here.”

“With Donghyuck?”

“Yeah,” Jeno smiled that one smile again. “Him too.”

“Does this actually go back to school or…?” Renjun nearly tripped on a tree root, but steadied himself with Jeno’s arm. 

“You’ll see.” Jeno had to shove his hands in his pocket to stop himself reaching out to hold Renjun’s hand. 

Birds sang above them, as sunlight trickled onto them like a small spotlight. It almost made Renjun drowsy, and he stopped walking for a moment to take in the dusty light that reached him. Then he felt a soft tug forward on his wrist and he opened his eyes to Jeno immediately retracting his hand. Jeno hoped he wouldn’t notice the tip of his ears growing warmer by the second. Just as he was about to put them back in his pockets, Renjun pulled them back, interlacing their fingers. 

“How much longer?”

“A couple minutes. Probably.” And Renjun took off running with Jeno being dragged along for the ride. 

“This thing better be exciting then!” He called excitedly. Jeno couldn’t tell if it was the adrenaline or the fact that he was sprinting that was making his heart speed up. He unlocked their fingers and caught up with Renjun. 

“I’ll race you there then!”

“You had a head start!!” Renjun shouted in laughter as Jeno pulled ahead. 

Finally the path widened more and came to a clearing, and the pair stopped, breathless. Jeno had probably won, but was willing to name it a tie, as he said through heaving breaths. He brushed back his hair and straightened up to see the old lake he and his friends used to come to so often. He walked up to the water’s edge, taking a now worn out Renjun with him. 

“It’s...pretty and all but...let me breathe first.” Maybe he’d underestimated how fit he was, as Jeno seemed to have barely broken a sweat. He laughed and pulled back Renjun’s shoulders so he could take it all in- the crystal lake, quietly sloshing water, and the heavens. 

“Like I said: beautiful.”

“Do you like it?”

“It’s certainly...emptier here.” Jeno took some steps back and lay himself down on the grassy bed. 

“That’s the point-”

“I love it!” He jumped down next to Jeno. “Thank you for...taking me here.”

“More like _you_ took me here, but no problem,” Jeno jokingly rolled his eyes. “It’s a pleasure. To show you this place.”

“It must be special to you,” Renjun said seriously now. Jeno closed his eyes, taking in the dancing light. 

“It is. There’s a lot of memories that live here.”

“And hopefully more to be made?”

“Of course,” Jeno tilted to face Renjun. “And they’ll be even more special.”

“Why’s that?” Jeno almost face palmed at the obliviousness. 

“Never mind then. I’ll tell you at some point.”

“Tell me!” Renjun shook Jeno’s shoulders back and forth, the pair bursting into laughter. 

“At some point! When the time is right!” Jeno insisted. “Not now.”

There was a magical quality of this place, and as they left the lakeside at twilight, their laughter seemed to awaken the fairies. 

Renjun nodded and smiled at the third student who stopped to greet him that day. It was still unreal when someone casually mentioned that he and Jeno were dating- probably because it was. They never bothered coming up with elaborate ‘falling in love’ stories, and merely went with the truth, but exaggerated to some extent. 

“That’s it?”

“Uh, yeah. That’s it.”

“Oh. If only I knew it was _that_ easy...” The student walked away and Renjun just had to giggle to himself. 

“What’s so funny? Is my hair okay?” Jisung sat in his usual place next to him, looking like he’s literally just woken up. That was probably correct. 

“It never is,” Renjun said. 

“Because it’s amazing?”

“Jisung...no.”

“That’s fair,” he said, resting his head on the table once he’d dropped his bag next to him. “I want sleep.”

“We all do, you ain’t special,” Renjun massaged his back, making him twitch and sit back upright. Just then, the teacher walked into the class and the usual hush fell over the room. Renjun felt something poking his arm, a few minutes later. 

“Chenle said I should try this, so I’m trying it.” Renjun looked up to Jisung mockingly shaking his head and motioning to the teacher at the front of the room. He rolled his eyes and scrunched up the paper, almost tempted to throw it back into his face. Maybe later. 

Mid-way through the lesson, he spotted from the corner of his eye Jisung fiddling with another piece of paper, intensely concentrating on folding it into triangles. The next time he glanced at him, there was a four prong star shaped thing sitting on his desk. 

“It’s a ninja star,” Jisung whispered, showing it off proudly. 

“And what are you going to do with said ninja star?”

“Gentlemen? Focus,” the teacher reprimanded, before continuing to speak. 

“I’ll give it to Chenle,” Jisung said finally after some thought (and behind the teacher’s back).

“I’m sure he’d be proud of you,” Renjun replied with a straight face. Soon enough, the bell rang and the students piled out of the room, except for Renjun and Jisung. 

“Hurry up,” Renjun stood next to their desk with his arms folded. 

“If you’re so desperate to go meet Jeno, go first!” Jisung pretended to throw the star at him. 

“Oh, wow, how ever did you know that?” Renjun said sarcastically. Although he would never notice, there was some truth in it. Jisung shrugged. 

“I would be,” he finally packed up his laptop. Renjun was tapping his foot impatiently. At last, they headed out of the door, Jisung still clutching the star. 

They walked out of the building in silence, before Jisung said, 

“How many words did you do for the homework?” Anti-climatic, but what did Renjun expect from him anymore?

“Like a thousand maybe? Who knows? Not me.”

“But like what was there to say? Like-” And Renjun had to listen to that rant all the way to the tree by the field, where he gratefully snuggled up next to Jeno. 

“Save me from this demon,” he groaned, whilst Jisung continued his rant with Chenle. Jaemin hadn’t arrived yet. 

“You get used to it,” Jeno offered him a piece of chocolate. Renjun opened his mouth and he popped it in. 

“So sweet. Is it milk?” Renjun winced. 

“What else?”

“Dark chocolate is superior, hello?” Chenle jumped in on Jeno’s side whilst Jisung was getting his laptop out again. More games, Renjun guessed. After more arguments between them, Jeno casually mentioned, 

“I didn’t even notice it was slightly expired.” He endured the scolds from Renjun (with added slaps) through laughter, until Jaemin dumped his bags and lay on the grass with them.

“Oh, to be dead,” he dramatically sighed. “Is there any chocolate left?” Jeno tossed a piece over and Jaemin took it in disgust. 

“Ew, milk chocolate. And expired too. Jeno, you really ought to get new stocks.”

“See? Dark is sup-” Renjun announced in triumph. 

“Clearly white chocolate is better? Or white chocolate with strawberry bits-” Jaemin continued, to Chenle’s amusement again. He then settled to watch Jisung kill someone (virtually, of course. Jisung would be more worried about accidentally stabbing someone with a toothpick). 

The rest continued to argue in the background, until the bell rang again and everyone else started to head to classes. Jeno pulled Renjun up too strongly (definitely not on purpose and definitely not somewhat in revenge) and he grabbed Jeno’s shoulders to stablise himself. He pushed Jeno away, but not before giving a quick kiss on the nose, suddenly aware of the multiple pairs of eyes on them. 

“You’re lucky I like you,” Renjun naturally smiled whilst saying. Jeno handed him his bags before he could reach them and said cheekily, 

“You forgot the babe at the end.” 

“I will consider murdering you at lunch.” Jeno stuck his tongue out. 

“With fun?” Jisung offered. A look of realisation passed his face and he took out the star (now slightly crumpled) from his pocket and handed it to Chenle shyly. 

“Should I look forward to it then?” Renjun blanked out momentarily. 

“I mean…”

“Kidding! Unless…” They exchanged knowing looks before bursting into laughter and Chenle dragged Jeno in the opposite direction for class, gladly clutching onto the star.

Renjun had gotten used to the hay-like stench in the stables. So had his shoes for that matter- now he set aside specific trainers for when he came here. Who would’ve thought. 

“For the nth time: do you need help?” he leaned over the stable door and Sandie gratefully took a carrot piece from his hand, then bent down to nibble at the bag. 

“And for the nth time, I’ll be finished soon!” Jeno wiped some sweat off his nose. “You just stand there and look pretty.”

“The expectations are high, I see.”

“What do you mean? I meant, just stand there,” Jeno answered as if it were reflex. Renjun swore he caught a gleam in his eye as he leaned down to take a different brush from the box. 

“Implying that I can stand,” Renjun joked and faked tripping over. 

“It’s of course, a known fact that you can’t stand. Or walk up stairs for that matter,” Jeno winked as he said that this time, and the only thing preventing Renjun from hitting the side of his head was the door. 

“I thought we’d forgotten about that!”

“I would never!” Jeno exclaimed, dramatically shocked. That earned him some side-eye glances from the few other people in the yard. Of course, they were nothing to worry about anymore- their feelings were the least of concerns to Jeno now. So they continued cracking the odd joke, breaking into loud laughter until Jeno was done, and they headed over to the arena as usual. 

“Do you get bored of coming here?” He called from the other side of the arena as he warmed up. 

“I wouldn’t come if I did,” Renjun said as he trotted past. “When is this competition anyway?”

“Like a month now.” They left it at that until Jeno stopped for a quick water break. Renjun naturally held his bottle out to him; there would be a day he would throw that water onto him. By accident or intentionally, was something he would think about later. He gulped down half the bottle before handing it back to Renjun. 

“You’re the best,” he said out of the blue, and walked Sandie to the middle to start practicing the test. A bunch of responses swirled around Renjun’s head- “I know”, “Thanks, I try”,”No, you”, “I like you”...that last one was so scrambled with the others that Renjun could barely comprehend it though. 

He settled on saying nothing, but pondered on the fact that Jeno would do _a lot_ to be the best. So what made Renjun the best in his eyes?

“Yo,” a familiar voice came from behind Renjun, who had been engrossed as usual in Jeno’s practice run through. 

“Uh, hi?” He turned around and was met with the one and only. 

“Hi, yes. Tis I,” Donghyuck stepped up to the bench, some papers in hand. 

“Are these…?”

“Yeah, they’re for Jeno. Mr Jeon said to give it to him ‘cause he missed the lesson. Knowing him,” he gestured to Jeno, “-he probably was sleeping in.”

“Did you want me to…?”

“Oh really? That would be _amazing_ -”

“Did you want me to call him over so you can give it to him?” Renjun changed his mind on an impulse. Donghyuck’s face went blank for a second. 

“Why can’t you hold them and give it to him after?”

“You’d really trust me with that?” Not the best excuse, but good enough. Donghyuck squinted at him before sighing. 

“I suppose talking to him occasionally would be tolerable…”

Just then, Jeno finished up the run through with the salute at centre, and instinctively turned to the side Renjun sat at. It wasn’t until he was closer that he saw the person he was talking to. 

“How was it? Hi Donghyuck,” he said as if it were an afterthought. 

“Mr Jeon wanted me to give you these papers from that lesson you missed,” Donghyuck jumped in before Renjun could reply. He waved the papers in Jeno’s face. “I’ll leave them here with your boyfriend for the time being, okay?” Renjun noted how he refused to make direct eye contact throughout that entire speech. And also got chills at the word ‘boyfriend’- He’d nearly forgotten about that. 

“Uh, okay. Thanks I guess,” Jeno glanced over them quickly. 

“Then I’ll go now. See you at the dorm, Renjun,” he added in a tired voice. Despite that, he jumped off the bench and jogged off. 

There was some silence, before Jeno said brightly, 

“So how was it?”

“Stellar. Ten out of ten. Ecetera. Would never get bored watching you specifically. Spinny thing on point and drifty thing flawless.”

“Good, then.” Jeno cast an uneasy look in the direction Donghyuck ran off. “That was odd.”

“What was?”

“He was oddly...realer. Dropped that facade a little.”

“Of what? Like-”

“Of whatever it is. He was a bit more familiar today.”

“Maybe because I was here? And he didn’t want to make a scene out _here_?” Jeno shrugged, still looking into the distance. 

“Probably. He’d never do that if it was just me.”

“You never know.”

“With Donghyuck, I never do anymore.”

  
  


Perhaps all five of them trooped in Jeno’s dorm room to supposedly ‘study’ wasn’t their brightest idea. And perhaps Renjun impulsively deciding to stay the night was also, not his brightest idea. 

“What the _fuck_ is this?” he stuck his head out of the bathroom, waving a fluffy headband at Jeno, who was sitting on the bed with a textbook he hadn’t managed to finish that afternoon. 

“A thing to like put my hair back when I wash my face? What else?”

“You _actually_ use it?”

“I mean…” Jeno blinked in embarrassment. 

“How cute. I’ll use it if you don’t mind,” Renjun shut the door leaving a slightly stunned Jeno. His words mixed around his mind for a while after, until Renjun emerged from the bathroom some time after, the headband still on. It took most of Jeno’s self-control to not pinch his cheek when he walked over to the bedside to get his phone. 

“You realise that…”

“Yes. Yes I do. And I wanna use this old face mask in my bag so I’ll have it for a bit longer, thanks.”

“You-”

“Yes. Yes I do. Don’t ask.” And Jeno didn’t. 

When Renjun next re-emerged from the bathroom, he looked a strange mess. And by a strange mess…

“You…”

“Huh?” Renjun turned defiantly to him, but it ended up looking just plain hilarious from the mask. Jeno stifled a giggle. 

“Nothing. Just...nothing. You look...never better.” 

Renjun settled himself on the spare bed, and Jeno got a weird sense of deja vu all of a sudden- as if he’d done this a million times with Renjun already. It felt natural: having Renjun curled up, scrolling through his phone, the curtains drawn and just the bedside light on. And it was the phone’s fault, that Renjun couldn’t catch the adoring gaze Jeno sent him. They sat in comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s presence- something Renjun would’ve never thought he’d ever be able to do here, with anyone. He’d probably face a wave of questions from Donghyuck the following morning. It would be either that, or he’d stay completely silent, and Renjun didn’t know which one he was more scared for. 

“And you look the usual,” he replied after a while, absent-mindedly. 

“Which is?”

“ _You_ should know.”

“...but tell me anyway?” Jeno persisted. Renjun turned to him (still quite comical to Jeno) and appeared to roll his eyes. 

“Now you’re just pushing it.”

“I know but-” Jeno pouted for effect, and for some reason, Renjun’s heart couldn’t help but skip a beat, as they say. 

“Great. You look just great.”

“I’ll take it!” Jeno exclaimed. “But you should take that mask off now as well.”

“Why? You don’t like ghost Renjun?” He re-enacted a stereotypical ghost, his heart skipping some more beats at the prospect that he’s the cause of Jeno’s laughter. He would make a bad drummer. 

“I just like Renjun!” Jeno said, clutching his tummy with laughter, and momentarily not quite registering what he’d just said. Renjun didn’t appear to either, as he stalked to the bathroom to take it off. He patted his skin dry, and looked up to the mirror to see Jeno now standing beside him. He rested his head on top of Renjun’s and grinned. 

“We should do this more often.”

“I don’t know how Donghyuck would feel about that,” Renjun half-joked. Jeno naturally linked up their pinkies. 

“Secretly offended, but he’ll be okay with it.”

“You should know.”

“I _should_ know, yes.” Renjun went to leave the bathroom and Jeno followed suit. 

“Do you think he sees through the whole...thing?” Renjun said, suddenly slightly worried. Jeno bit his lip. 

“If he does, he hasn’t shown it. But he’s smart and knows me just as well as Jaemin, so there’s a possibility I suppose.”

“When did he start to…?” Renjun snuggled into the blankets- suddenly it felt quite chilly. Jeno sighed, turning so he completely faced Renjun. Warm light framed his now unreadable face.

“He’s probably too far gone now. Jaemin and I know that all too well. But still, sometimes I hope he’d come back. But,” he sighed, lying back in his own bed, “That’s a high hope now.” There was silence, and neither of them moved or said a word. 

“Why am I even telling you this…” Jeno trailed off, flipping so he couldn’t see Renjun. 

“It’s okay. I understand,” Renjun mumbled, now facing Jeno’s arched back. 

“It’s not much of your business though!” Jeno lashed out all of a sudden, before murmuring an apology. If Renjun looked carefully enough, Jeno’s body was shaking ever-so slightly. 

“I’ll be here if you need me then…” he switched off the bedside light, but it was soon turned back on because of Jeno. Renjun’s eyes blinked to adjust again and he thought he could make out some faint tear-tracks on his cheeks, which he instinctively moved to wipe away. 

“If you haven’t given up, then I’m sure he hasn’t either. People change,” he whispered gently. Jeno leaned back again, leaving the light on and brought his legs to his chest. 

“I would’ve given it up by now if it hadn’t been for you,” he said in a small voice, almost as if it choked him to say. Renjun padded over to his bed and slipped under the blankets with him. There was just enough space for the two of them to sit up. 

“Like you said, it’s not much of my business. This is up to you now, see? And I’ll be there with you. Jaemin, Chenle and Jisung too. Remember that.” He snaked an arm around Jeno’s shoulders, that were now shaking a bit more as Jeno buried his face in his hands. He didn’t reply, but let himself be comforted by the sweet nothings Renjun murmured. 

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t feel like it.”

“Tha-thank, thank you,” Jeno stumbled out at last. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this and that I’ve kind of roped you in and-” Renjun hushed him up. 

“Sleep and you’ll feel clearer tomorrow. Here, now…” he lifted up Jeno’s face by the chin and wiped away some tears with the sleeve of his shirt. “Stop that. You’re gonna make me cry too,” and Jeno had the courtesy to softly giggle as well. They really were just two not-boyfriends snuggled up in a single bed near to crying at midnight. 

Jeno tucked himself in, covering his face jokingly with the blanket, and Renjun attempted to lie down next to him but had to stick a leg out of the side to fit. 

"This bed is more comfortable than the other one."

"The beds are the same," Jeno blankly said and Renjun sighed. 

"Forget it. Go sleep." He made to roll out of the bed before Jeno's leg latched onto his from under the covers. 

"No. Stay for a bit." Jeno gave his best puppy eyes and hoped Renjun wouldn't notice hotness in his cheeks (the dim lighting probably saved him there). Finally, Renjun curled up more and gave in. 

"Single beds are made for _one_ person."

"I thought you were gonna say 'single beds were made for single people' and I was about to push you out," Jeno muffled and hoped the blanket would drown out his words. Which of course, now they didn't. 

"Why did I ever agree to this…" Renjun tried to get out again but Jeno's reflexes prevented him again. 

"Because the school doesn't know how to chill and mind their own business." There was another answer, but Jeno held back on mentioning it. Renjun nestled up up to Jeno's left shoulder and flicked off the bedside light. 

"Just for a bit…" he hummed. It was like music to Jeno's ears, and that night was possibly the fastest he'd ever fallen asleep. 

_Ring-ring. Ring-ring. Ri-_

Renjun groaned and flipped to his other side and unknowingly ended up with a mouthful of Jeno’s hair. He sat up, glared at the alarm on Jeno’s phone on _his_ side of the bed, and flopped back onto his very limited pillow space. The alarm kept blaring right in his ear. 

“Renjun…” Jeno finally woke up. “Could you turn that off…”

“It’s _your_ alarm on _your_ phone,” Renjun protested. He heard a sigh from the other half of the bed and Jeno leaned over him to turn the alarm off, now suffocating him with his shoulder. Once the damn alarm was turned off, Jeno looked around, got his bearings and pushed Renjun off the bed. 

“What the _fuck_ -” Renjun landed with a soft thump, and in a very undignified position. Jeno acted like he was still waking up and arched his back to stretch. “Two can play at that game…” And Renjun mustered enough strength to attempt to push Jeno off as well. Needless to say, it didn’t exactly succeed. 

“You change here first while I brush teeth,” Jeno finally stood up, getting his initial balance on the doorframe as if he were a baby giraffe. “And try harder next time.”

“There won’t _be_ a next time. My neck is literally crying.” 

“Sounds like a you problem.” The door closed behind Jeno and Renjun changed into his uniform from the day before. There was a slight odour from sweat walking around campus, but otherwise, it would do for a day more. 

The room had a strange echo now that it appeared he was the only one in it. 

“Are you done?” Jeno’s normal voice called from the bathroom. “I got toothpaste all over my shirt.”

“How the-” Renjun said, opening the door for Jeno to come out. A comical white patch painted the middle of his grey pyjamas, and inside it, a sheepish looking Jeno. 

“Maybe I squeezed a new tube too hard out of habit. Now move so I can change.”

“I- okay,” Renjun shook his head and shut the door behind him. Jeno went to his dresser and slipped on a new crisp shirt, and threw open the curtains. Sunshine flooded the room.

As cosy as his room usually was, even when Renjun was just in the bathroom, it was nothing but a void. 

“Jeno!” Jaemin called him over amidst the bubble of the dining hall later that morning. He smiled upon seeing Renjun turn around with him to poke him in the arm and get his attention for him. He waved at them both.

“Okay wait!” Jeno’s beam faltered slightly when he saw Donghyuck seated next to Jaemin, now eating his food at an inhumanely fast pace. Renjun naturally followed Jeno to the booth. 

“Morning, Renjun,” Donghyuck curtly said, now extremely wary of who he’d brought. “I missed you at the dorm last night, which is something I never thought I’d say. _But_ I’m sure you were in safe hands anyway,” he glanced up at Jeno. 

“Mhm. You could say that,” Renjun replied, chowing down breakfast himself. Jaemin awkwardly cleared his throat.

“What are we doing for half term?”

“It’s next week?” Jeno tore off some bread crust for Jaemin, who nodded and stuffed it in his mouth.

“It’s already established our parents will take us out, yes?” Donghyuck huffed. “Who knows why they do it every year? Not me. And I know a lot.” Jeno rolled his eyes. 

“I don’t know why you two hate it so much. There’s free food!” Jaemin shook Donghyuck’s shoulders jokingly, and he pushed him back softly. 

“You only like it because our parents love you so much. And for good reason too…”

“They love you two! Too!” 

Jeno sensed Renjun was feeling very much lonely, from his strange fixation on his now empty plate. He reached over and gave his hand an extra squeeze, earning him a grateful smile and an ‘awww’ from Jaemin’s direction. 

“But anyway,” Jaemin clapped his hands, and took a quick sip of his coffee. “Renjun, you could come if you’re free that day too!”

“What?” Donghyuck and Jeno said in unison, before giving each other a distasteful look. Renjun shrugged. 

“I could check, if you really wanted me to I guess…”

“Really?” They exclaimed in unison again, and the only thing stopping them from breaking into a petty argument was Jaemin replying.

“There’s free food!” He sang teasingly. Renjun acted tempted and stifled a laugh. 

“Oh really! I never knew!” They laughed and hi-fived, leaving unusually quiet and awkward Donghyuck and Jeno. They took a shy glance at each other before immediately looking away. The other two calmed down, and Renjun said, 

“Sure. I’ll come if you want me to.” Jaemin clapped his hands in glee and Jeno mentally cursed at him for being somehow so persuasive.

“That’s great then,” he plastered on a grin. 

“I mean you don’t have to ac-” Jaemin stopped mid-sentence as Donghyuck conveniently linked their arms and he leaned on his shoulder for a power nap before the bell. How he always managed them was a complete mystery to Jeno. 

“...you don’t _have_ to,” he turned instead to Renjun with a gentle smile. Jeno breathed a sigh of relief- he would’ve probably killed Jaemin if he’d finished that sentence. At least with Donghyuck around. Renjun waved a hand dismissively.

“It’s okay. I’ll get around it somehow.”

“You sure?” Jeno asked now, squeezing his hand again and hoping that Renjun got the hint. Thank god Donghyuck had his eyes closed. 

“It’s- it’ll be fun!” Another close one. Yet what exactly was he going to say? “I’ll try my best. Just tell me the time at some point.”

“At least you won’t be with the gremlins,” Donghyuck murmured in his sleep. 

“Hm?”

“He said at least you won’t be with Chenle and Jisung,” Jaemin grinned and Donghyuck sat up a bit to kiss his earlobe before settling back on his shoulder. Jeno had the grace to blow a raspberry, and follow his gut reaction to swing an arm around Renjun.

“They’re not so bad…” Renjun giggled. 

“Oh believe me, after a few years you’ll be _exhausted_ ,” said Jaemin. Just then, the bell rung and Donghyuck sat up, stretching his arms. 

“That’s only because you insist on being such a mum friend,” he claimed, taking his tray and leaving the table first. 

“I am not _-_ ” Jaemin started and ran up to Donghyuck at the tray return counter. Jeno nodded, keeping his arm firmly around Renjun. 

“He is, in fact.”

“A mum friend?” Jeno nodded, smiling to himself. 

“You really want to keep up...the thing?” Renjun shrugged, leaving his arms and catching up to Jaemin and Donghyuck. 

“Like I said, it’s fun.”

“So…” Donghyuck started upon closing the door behind Renjun once they were back in their dorm. 

“So?” Renjun asked, and Donghyuck flopped onto his bed. 

“Today’s been exhausting.”

“Did you have a test?”

“No.”

“Homework.”

“Only the usual amount.”

“Then what?” He lay flat, star-position, and heaved a big sigh. 

“Jeno.”

“Jeno?”

“I thought you’d know by now,” he got up to empty his bag whilst Renjun sat at his laptop. “Either he hasn’t told you- unlikely, knowing him. You’ve forgotten- a likely option. Or you’re oblivious to everything around you- also a likely option.”

“I do know.”

“Okay. Then how do you not understand?” He slammed a binder onto the desk. Renjun thought it would legitimately collapse with the force, and his hands went over his ears on reflex. 

“I guess I do, to some extent.”

“I don’t even know why he’s like this these days,” Donghyuck dragged out his chair dramatically and plonked himself down. “He’s so distant. As if he doesn’t know me or something. But oh well,” he sighed again, opening his laptop. “If he’s gonna shut me down every time I try and talk to him, that’s not my problem.”

“Maybe it’s...not completely him?” Renjun carefully suggested, thinking through every syllable before saying it. Another slam as another binder hit the desk. 

“Then who?” Silence, as Donghyuck typed away furiously and Renjun was left deep in thought. The question lay hanging in the air with no answer, at least any time soon. 

“But Renjun, I gotta ask…” He pricked up his head and swivelled the chair to face Donghyuck on the other side of the room. “Do you _really_ want to come along? Our families aren’t ver-”

“Yeah. I actually do.”

“Isn’t it more tedious?”

“What is?”

“Keeping the act up. With Jeno. No doubt Jaemin’s already told his parents…” He trailed off, now suddenly more meek than usual, whilst Renjun stared in shock. “Close your mouth. Flies will go in.” Renjun closed his mouth. 

“Why he did that when he clearly knows as well is another matter- perhaps he wanted to avoid future confusion, but that’s besides the point. No wonder he’s been telling me less and less about Jeno these days...but that’s fair enough. I got the keys and snuck backstage, as Jaemin would say.”

“You…” Renjun leaned back in his chair, slightly lightheaded but he regained his composure quickly. “But then…”

“What?” Renjun struggled to arrange the static noise of his mind into a decipherable tune.

“Why haven’t you gone and told the whole school about it?” Donghyuck simply turned back to his screen as if it were no big deal. 

“I figured that would be a favour to Jeno. Maybe to you too.”

“Wait, _wait_ , so you’re telling me…”

“I haven’t told you anything,” Donghyuck bluntly replied. 

“-Didn’t you know since you…” Renjun stared into space, hands on the sides of his head trying to piece everything together. 

“Since that?” Donghyuck raised an eyebrow. “It was a mistake.” He got up to fetch something from the bathroom, as Renjun stayed perfectly still.

“It was a mistake,” he repeated when Donghyuck sat back down. “But then why wouldn’t you just tell Jeno-”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Donghyuck growled. “Shut. up.” He said now, his voice slowly crescendoing. “It’s none of your business.” 

Renjun raised his hands in surrender, focusing back on his screen. 

“I was just asking-”

“And so was I.” The air became stagnant and suffocating to Renjun now, instead of the breezy back and forth ironic teasing. 

And eventually when they’d both started to doze off at their desks, Renjun went to close the curtains. Donghyuck didn’t protest this time. 

_Jaemin_

_Are you up_

_Ofc you are_

_Why_

_Im contemplating_

_Better be about apologising to Jeno_

_And Renjun for that matter_

_…_

_Sometimes i hate you_

_Own up to your own mistakes already_

_Its no use telling me meanwhile those 2_

_Ik ik_

_Maybe I should_

_Could you perhaps_

_Absolutely not_

_Whatever you want me to do, I wont_

_Even if i just_

_No._

_Oh_

_Fair enough_

_Well sleep well then_

_Ov wyou_

_Im pulling an all nighter but will do lol_

_Donghyuck_

_You asleep?_

_Probably_

_I’ll be here then ig_

_Love you too_

The bright phone screen in Donghyuck’s hand slowly dimmed.

“Could I talk to you for a second?” Renjun murmured to Jeno, awkwardly smiling at the unfamiliar faces surrounding them at the type of dining table he was only all too used to. 

“Is it that important?” Jeno tried to soften after dealing with an extremely naggy aunt (“Are you doing well in school?” “Yes.” “Finishing the homework on time?” “What homework?” He’d said with a deadpan face.)

“Sort of.”

“Can it wait?”

“Uh. Sure I guess.”

“Sorry,” he smiled and placed a feather light kiss on the temple. Renjun tried to contain the shiver from the contact, but noticeably failed to Jeno’s mum’s amusement. “I’m all yours tonight though.”

“Wassup?” Jaemin came from behind them, placing a hand on each of their shoulders firmly. Renjun nearly jumped from the shock. 

“Jaemin! How’ve you been? You’ve grown so much!” Jeno’s mum exclaimed, and that led to one long winded conversation after the other. As much as Renjun tried to engage, he felt more of an eleventh wheel (maybe thirteenth?). 

“I did ask if you seriously wanted to come,” Donghyuck muttered and shrugged. “You're doing a good job though. I think they’re really buying it.” 

“Thanks,” he exaggerated a smile behind Jeno and Jaemin’s chairs that were separating them. 

“Almost as if you two are naturals, if you know what I mean.” And before Renjun could comprehend and reply to that, Donghyuck had sat back up and was now entertaining the plethora of questions from Jaemin’s mum and a prompt slap on the thigh from Jaemin to focus his attention back. 

He sat back and gobbled up his food, blurring out the voices; _I wonder how many laps of the field it’ll take to work off all I’ve eaten today_. Until a hand crept up on his and gave it the usual reassuring squeeze. Was Jeno a mind-reader?

“Soon,” he mouthed to Renjun accompanied by crescent shaped eyes. _Soon._

“All yours now,” Jeno grinned, holding the door open for Renjun, who sighed and headed straight for the closest bed to the door, which happened to be Jeno’s. “Jaemin’s probably gonna spend the night out with his parents anyway. Chenle, Jisung…who knows what they’ve gotten up to now that there’s no lessons.”

“Making a mess of anything they do, that’s for sure,” Renjun affectionately joked.

“What was it you wanted?” Jeno asked softly, sitting next to Renjun who automatically leaned on his shoulder. 

“Donghyuck knows.” There was a tense moment of silence and Renjun held his breath, but let it go at when Jeno just held him tighter. 

“Of course he does. He’s too smart.”

“Jeno...have you ever considered that perhaps it’s also a you problem?”

“All too often,” Jeno said, staring at the floor and knocking their feet together. “Self-doubt and all that fun stuff, you know. All mixed together with the grades thing.”

“Then what’s stopping you?”

The phrase echoed around Jeno’s mind, bouncing around and never reaching the corner like those screen-savers.

“What’s...stopping me…” he repeated slowly to himself. 

“Rise and shine fuckers!” Jaemin burst into the dorm way too early. Renjun groggily sat up and took in the familiar surroundings whilst Jeno remained fast asleep. He walked over to him and jumped right on top. 

“They have croissants at the dining hall today!” he sang in an attempt to wake up Jeno, but he simply groaned and flipped over. Renjun walked over to the other bed shakily and sat next to the pile. 

“We can bring them back or something. He’s tired.”

“Nothing new then,” Jaemin tried shaking him. “Don’t make me get the water Jeno…” he said in a warning voice, and his eyes popped open. 

“Don’t you fucking dare,” his smoky morning voice croaked. Jaemin grinned triumphantly at Renjun. 

“Now stay awake. We have one more day of holiday remember?”

“Oh god no,” Renjun flopped back so he was lying across Jeno’s lap. “Everyday we approach closer to doom.” 

“So dramatic,” Jaemin mockingly complained, leaving Jeno to comb through and arrange Renjun’s hair, half-asleep. 

“Don’t act like you aren’t either.”

“And what about it? Get up love-birds- we have a day left to not waste away!” He sang again. 

“You’re giving me a headache,” Jeno grumbled, slipping out of bed and making Renjun land on the floor again with a yelp. He made a sound of indignation; Jaemin sighed and heaved him up. 

“What the fuck did you do to him? Even when he’s super tired he’s better than this,” he muttered under his breath to Renjun, who shrugged and followed Jeno to the bathroom. 

“He knows what he has to do.” Jaemin made an ‘o’ with his mouth in realisation. 

“Ah. That. Well, one of them has to go through with it either way.”

“I’m gonna go practice,” Jeno announced after he finished breakfast. Everyone else was only half way finished. “Only Renjun allowed, before any of you ask.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Jisung scrunched his nose. “So boring anyway. I don’t see the big deal.”

“As if playing video games literally all day like you’ve done for the past five days have been,” Donghyuck retorted. 

“Hey!” Jisung exclaimed, offended. “Four days.”

“Whatever is fun for whoever. I have an essay to finish anyway,” Chenle added. 

“Library?” asked Jisung. Chenle nodded. “Then I’ll come too.”

“Come on Renjun,” Jeno dragged him up as he stuffed the last bite of the croissant hurriedly. 

“Okay, look,” Donghyuck got up as well just as they left. He stalked off in the same direction. There was a moment of shocked silence. 

“Permission to have the rest of his breakfast?” Jisung asked. 

“I’d like to think you’ve matured now, Jeno,” Donghyuck swivelled him around by the shoulder whilst Renjun stood by and prepared to brace himself. 

“And so would I. But do we really have to do this here and now?”

“Literally when else.” A couple intrigued gazes were cast their way. 

“Not here and not now?” Jeno suggested, already knowing that Donghyuck would indeed be doing this here and now. 

“You scared of the attention? Is that it?” Damn it. 

“He isn’t. I am,” Renjun admitted suddenly. “For the sake of the person you’ve dragged into this,” he gestured at himself, “I’d appreciate if you in fact, didn’t do this here and now.”

The air grew still, as they became numb to the various murmurs around them. 

“Well then fine. But by tonight Jeno,” Donghyuck kept his hardened gaze, and Jeno was blind to the shake in his voice as he said that. “You and I will have this all done with.”

“Deal.” Renjun breathed a sigh of relief and Donghyuck marched back to the table preparing to now scold Jisung for finishing his breakfast. 

“Sorry you had to see that. Or get involved for that matter,” said Jeno as they headed over to the stables. 

“You’d better be. You have weird ways of showing you care,” Renjun said dryly. Jeno hung his head. “If I was dumb I’d be starting to think you didn’t like me anymore.”

“That-” Jeno’s head pricked up at that. “That I-” 

“I shouldn’t be here at all,” Renjun smiled wistfully. “And to be honest, it’s probably my own fault; being careless and not checking building and all. But all the same, you really should be sorry.”

“I am,” Jeno gulped. “I regret it all now.”

“What- liking me? Or do you regret how you handled it?”

“I’ll never regret liking you,” Jeno exhaled. “And I understand if you want to distance yourself from me now.”

“As if I could,” Renjun flicked his head back forward. “I’d have no one else. As much as I somewhat hate to, I like you too.”

“And do you regret _that_?” Jeno dared to ask. A lump had formed in his throat, making the words seem even heavier than he’d thought. For one precarious moment, his heart nearly stopped. 

“Sometimes,” Renjun finally said. “But I couldn’t imagine myself dating- real or fake- anyone else.”

“What are you suggesting here…”

“Kiss me and find out.” Renjun hoped the hitch in his breath wasn’t too noticeable as he said that. Now, when Jeno leaned in not unlike all the other times, there was something different. Something that made it seem like a first. 

“For real?” 

“For real.”

_Hey_

“It’ll be fine,” Renjun reassured Jeno, the pair squished up on Jeno’s bed again. Jeno raised an eyebrow suspiciously, as if to ask “but are you sure about that?”

“Oh god, he’s online now. He’s read it. Renjun what the-” He threw his phone down and buried his face in his hands. 

“Don’t be so dramatic.” The phone, lying dejectedly screen down, vibrated. 

“What the fuck he’s answered,” Jeno slowly picked it up, as if it were a bomb. Renjun pushed him lightly. 

“What else did you expe-”

_I see you at least keep to promises_

“What’s that supposed to mean,” Jeno said, deadpanned and typed back:

_When have i not_

_Touche_

Donghyuck replied immediately. 

“...now what.”

“You fucking get to the point.”

“Oh shit he’s typing.”

_You need me to come over personally to tell you how dumb you are?_

_Also hi Renjun_

_Possibly Jaemin_

_And Jaemin if you’re there CAN YOU TEXT ME BACK_

“Tell him I said hi back,” Renjun said matter-of-factly, meanwhile Jeno was burying his face in his shoulder. 

_Jeno?_

_You cant run away now_

_I know_

_(also Jaemin isn’t here)_

_Damn it_

_But answer my question_

_I think im good thanks_

_Arent you avoiding the main point now?_

There was a knock at their door and Renjun almost collapsed in laughter at the absurdity of it all. For a long coming serious issue, they had a rather unique way of settling it. 

“Lee Jeno,” Donghyuck marched right in and turned around in confusion as it was Jeno who had opened the door for him and not Renjun as he’d expected. The door slammed shut and Jeno stood by it, staring Donghyuck off.

“That’s me.”

“Lee Jeno…” Donghyuck said, a little softer now. “I knew you were here too,” he sat on the spare bed opposite Renjun, who immediately got up and claimed he needed the bathroom. What a coincidence. 

“It’s come full circle now, huh,” Jeno sat gingerly next to Donghyuck, but a safe distance away. Just to be safe.

“Huh indeed,” Donghyuck grunted, avoiding eye contact now. Neither of them said a word, and at that point Renjun was getting rather uncomfortable hiding out in the bathroom. Until at last they both broke it,

“Bring it here.”

Renjun poked his head out, fearfully at first but then burst out laughing at the pair sitting on the bed hugging, Donghyuck nearly slapping Jeno on the back, though not aggressively. 

“I missed you…”

“Jeno, you’re really fucking blind.”

“So I finally text you back,” Jaemin stormed into the room right then. “I fucking _spammed_ you and then-”

“Quiet, Na. So then-” Donghyuck pointed at him and went back to blabbering to Jeno, who looked on the verge of tired of him but still, put up an endeared smile. Jaemin grinned to himself, pleased, and sat on Jeno’s bed next to Renjun, who’d stopped paying attention to whatever they were doing long ago. 

“At least they’re looking civil. I missed this. Seems like Hyuck’s been stolen from me though.”

“Mine too,” Renjun glanced shyly at the other bed, Jaemin noting the sparkle as his gaze fell on Jeno. 

Renjun couldn’t stop beaming at the trophy Jeno cradled. Or Jeno for that matter. 

“See? You don’t need me to tell you anything,” he admired the shininess. Noticing, Jeno handed the trophy to him to inspect even more, and it was received with a squeal of delight. Cute. 

“You deserve this too,” he hummed. Renjun was too engrossed at that moment, and he nudged him playfully on the arm. “Are you done with it now?”

“Hm? Wait, just need to…” Renjun brushed through the top of his head and peered at his reflection in the gold. 

“I should learn how to be a trophy too then,” Jeno joked, rolling his eyes and slumping in his seat. 

“...done now!” Renjun grinned, handing the trophy back to Jeno. And somehow, the rush of adrenaline seeping into Jeno was more than when he was on that podium earlier that afternoon. He took a moment to inspect for possible fingerprints (to which Renjun made offended noises at), and then placed it carefully in his lap, so it wouldn’t fall if they went over bumps in the road. 

“Are you happy now?” asked Renjun, eyes now fixated on Jeno leaning on his left shoulder, but his head was gradually sliding down so it was more like his chest. 

“Do you want the long or short answer?” Jeno replied, suddenly clutching the trophy again as they suddenly slowed at a traffic light. 

“Either’s fine. Whatever you feel like saying.” Jeno took a moment to think. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m happy now. I have a best friend back, I got you...what else could I ask for anymore?”

“That?” Renjun pointed at the trophy. 

“This?” he quickly glanced at it and focused back on Renjun. “It’s pretty cool. But it makes me realise just how obsessed I was with being good ‘n all. My shelves at home are basically just medals and certs...really makes you realise how much value we put in these symbols of ‘being the best’,” he put the last part in air quotes. 

“I thought that's what you like?” Renjun put an arm around him. There was a pause before Jeno answered, 

“Liked, I guess. It’s great, but after a couple doses it wears off quickly, and you crave more. And why should I carry on when I’m more than satisfied where I am? Like I said, I have you, best friends- what else do I need?”

Renjun brought him closer, placing a quiet kiss on the crown of his head. 

“I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Jeno stared up at him, getting lost in the eyes that’d first hooked him. “And you too.”

“Me?” A look of surprise crossed Renjun’s face. “Explain.”

“Just...you’ve stuck with me all through this, like you said you would. And your acceptance of _everything_ ,” Jeno vaguely gestured at ‘everything’. “In fact…”

He slipped the trophy on the empty seat next to Renjun. 

“Have it.”

“Jeno, you don’t-”

“And I’d give you more, if you want. Just te-”

“Jeno.” He melted to Renjun’s touch on his chin; ever-so fragile, but oddly cold. “I don’t need anything other than you to prove anything. Here, take it back, as much as I’d love it,” he placed the trophy back on Jeno’s lap. _Where it belongs_ , he thought. 

The car pulled into the school driveway then, and they headed straight to the stables to unload the trailer. They sat in blissful silence for about a minute, before Jeno broke the silence first. 

“I love you.” Honestly barely audible to Renjun from the crunching of wheels against gravel, and he nearly had to ask again to confirm what his brain was telling him he’d heard. 

“I. Love you,” Jeno repeated, as if he could feel the cogs slowly turning in his mind. “When-”

“We are absolutely _not_ doing another monologue,” Renjun interrupted, the car now coming to a stop and forcing them to part. Jeno grumbled in protest from his pillow being moved, but reluctantly got out to unload Sandie from the trailer. 

“Another time?” he smirked. 

“...Another time. Maybe tonight.” 

“Good. I know you love them, actually.” Sandie paraded down the ramp, mane and tail still in competition style, led by Jeno and then handed off to one of the stablehands. 

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. One thing I _do_ know for sure though...” Renjun paused for effect. Almost too long for Jeno’s liking, and he started to hold his breath unnecessarily. 

“Is that I’m gonna take a shower first!” he shouted in glee, taking off down the gravel path towards East. Jeno sighed, shaking his head. But then caught the wind carrying Renjun’s melodious laughter, and his legs instinctively moved to follow him. 

“Don’t be so sure!”

And the trophy? Left in the car, forgotten by both. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Sooo ik no one asked, but heres a ranking of which character I enjoyed writing the most (most to least) just cos I feel like it lol
> 
> 1\. Donghyuck- he was such a fun character to map out cos I intended for him to feel a lil like an antagonist, and then slowly progress into a morally grey character. Also he's good comedic relief imo. Overall, satisfying complexities made him the most fun to write and tbh I'm the most attached to his character ;;  
> 2\. Renjun- he was fun mainly cos I found him SUPER relatable. As soon as I read the prompt I went "I've been in his situation like twice now" cos I've moved schools quite a bit and ik only too well the feeling of being left out in a school too rich for your liking.  
> 3\. Jisung- he was literally the most neutral character of them all. Like. He just there for a good time and I respect that. Added bonus that he's cute and innocent. Gotta love him.  
> 4\. Jaemin- he was fun, but the only reason why he's in the harder to write half is cos it was kinda hard to place his motifs eg. why he didn't bother to make Jeno and Donghyuck just make up (which I still don't think is obvious, but there IS a reason and I'd be interested in seeing yalls theory (think logically)). Other than that he was also good comedic relief.  
> 5\. Chenle- one of the hardest simply cos he...doesn't really have a role (am sorry). Nothing else to say hh.  
> 6\. Jeno- this BASTARD of a character istg. Why I gave him so many motifs I had to keep track of...sigh. I needed to make sure his motifs were made kinda obvious (which I dislike) in order to avoid making him seem manipulative- possibly my worst fear. His thoughts and feelings were probably the most unique of the group too. Big sigh. Hopefully I portrayed his character properly tho :))
> 
> And again, thank you for reading mwah


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